Friday, I received this dreaded message:

Panic. Sheer panic. I couldn’t upload any photos to the blog, which was rather important for the FOOD post I was working on. So I raced to Google what the hell was going on. I found this link to talk me off my cliff and get me past the initial roadblock. I think I have days of meaningless work ahead. ***Note: If you are using Blogger, you are using Picassa photo storage. READ THIS.  Yet another reason it may be time for me to switch to WordPress.

In other, less dramatic news, below are some of the most helpful links of the week.

A method through the madness: 5 tips for writing scenes via Jody Hedlund

As always, Jane Friedmand offers 10 Ways to Build Long-Lasting Traffic to Your Author Website or Blog.

Sarah McCoy (along with snippets from a dozen other authors) explains how finding your literary agent is like finding true love via the Millions.

Since I’m at this stage now (again) Melanie Conklin’s How to Rock Beta Reads was particulary helpful. Beta readers everywhere, please read!

 Victoria Mixon shared an excerpt from her soon-to-be-released book for writers, The Art & Craft of Prose: 3rd Practitioner’s Manual. She’s provided this excerpt on Making Tension Tense via Writer Unboxed.

Okay, so I missed Monday. And ICYM TUESDAY just doesn’t have the same alliterative ring to it, so just deal. Here’s my roundup of the most interesting, informative, and entertaining post for writers and bloggers. Enjoy.

Jane Friedman, former publisher of Writer’s Digest, has one of the best blogs for writers period. Recently, she spent the day on Reddit’s AMA (Ask Me Anything) board. The wealth of information she shared (from agents to e-books and everything in between) is astounding. If you are an aspiring writer/editor, this is a must read. Too many links to mention. Go. See. Learn.

Kristen Lamb, the self-proclaimed Social Media Jedi for Writers, sets the record straight about 3 Social Media Myths that can cripple our platform. (Hint: tweeting and blogging about things besides writing is GOOD.) I still need to pick up copies of  her best-selling books We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media and Are You There, Blog? It’s Me, Writer .

Tracy Garvis Graves, author of the bestseller On the Island,  rose from self pub fame to a double book deal. She finally posted her Self Publishing FAQ. If you’re even considering going the self pub route, give this a read. Pay attention.

Need some ideas? Need to know if your brainstorm is a boring cliche or trope? (Tropes are devices and conventions that a writer can reasonably rely on as being present in the audience members’ minds and expectations.) TV Tropes is a running list of all things trope.  Their Literature section breaks down tropes by era, genre, region, and language.

Here are 8 underused structures you can use to craft attention-grabbing blog posts (and to stand out from fellow bloggers in your field). Why not pick one to try this week? Via SEOJoe

Ever consider throwing a book party? From invites to supplies and what to do with the kiddos, Nichole Bernier shares her secrets on How to Throw a Book Party That Rocks via Beyond the Margins

Sarah Pinneo, author of Julia’s Child, explains why pitching, like taxes, is part of (the publishing) life via QueryTrackerBlog.

Do you sometimes find yourself salivating over foods in your favorite books? Quirkbook.com listed 10 of their favorite foods from lit you can actually make yourself.  (If you want an entire cookbook filled with treats inspired by favorite novels pick up The Book Club Cookbook —reviewed here.)

And I know we are all SO OVER politics and feel as if reading one more article or post could send us over the edge—but this one made me laugh and just nod my head yes. This. Letter to  future Republican strategist regarding white people by Eric Garland.  

   WritersMarket.com shows you How to Get a Book PublishedImage compliments of Writer’s Market 

Thought I’d share some of the most useful, inspiring, and/or entertaining posts of the week:

What’s So Good About Goodreads Anyway? Part 1: Using Goodreads as a Reader via Hugs and Chocolate

10 Ways to syndicate your online writing and 30 ways to promote your blog posts.via Media Bistro
 
Johnny Depp seeking “authentic, outspoken and visionary ideas and voices” for his own book imprint, Infinitum Nihil. via NPR 
 
 Seven lessons of advertising writing to help writers of all genres make every word “sell.” via Rachelle Gardner
 
Four key elements of writing success in the 21st century via Writer Unboxed

Facebook is the new resume? via Big Think
 
How to feel beautiful on the inside and out by Karen Walrond (a.k.a. Chookooloonks) via Upworthy.

Meet the Mom Bloggers Behind @PaulRyanGosling via NYMag

 BLUE (adjective)
1  : of the color blue
2  a : bluish
    b : discolored by or as if by bruising  
    c : bluish gray
3  a : low in spirits : melancholy
    b : marked by low spirits : depressing

Below are three fairly generic passive phrases. Your goal is to make them active in a short scene, either fiction or non-fiction. You can choose one, two, or all three to play with, but you only have 100 words.

1. [he/she/I] was devastated by […]
2. [feeling] was experienced by […]
3. [person/thing] was possessed by […]

No posts in a week, I know, I’m a bad, bad blogger.  But with the radio silence everyone seems to be experiencing, I’m not going to feel TOO guilty — I’ve been busy.  Really.

Let’s see… First, I FINALLY broke down and bought a smart phone. I’ve had a cell phone for…16 years, and this is only my fourth phone. Yes, I know I have a problem. Since my crappy contract was finally up (I will NEVER sign up for a 2-year contract ever again) I spent a few days hunting online and around town for a new plan and a smarter phone. When it finally arrived in the mail I felt like an 80-year-old at a gaming conference — I had no idea how to make the freaking thing work, nor the power held within that little device.  So I’ve been spending far too much time teaching myself about the world of android and apps and actually having my SM on hand at all times.  I couldn’t tweet on the go before (oh the horror!).  And…I’ve never sent a text. (Scoop your chin up from your keyboard now, please.)  I have A LOT to learn…like Instagram and bar code scanning and Angry Birds…

I bought new dining room chairs.  Considering I bought some of the old chairs when I settled into my COLLEGE apartment (and I’m not telling you how long ago that was) it was time.  I happened upon some wrought iron chairs at Costco, and they were interesting and a great deal, so I surprised my husband with an afternoon of manual labor working as a delivery man.  Then it took days to decide if I liked them. Turns out, I do like the eclectic mix (according to all the design mags and Pinterest, it’s in).

{Look! Instagram & new chairs combo!}

Last Sunday we had a family date night at The Lion King.  Yes, I know I’m once again about a decade behind, but Broadway is a bit far from the Sunshine State.  It. Was. Amazing. If the traveling show ever comes through your area — GO.  Take your kids (if they are mature enough to sit through a movie without jumping around and talking, they should be fine). Kiddo may have complained about having to “get dressed up,” but he loved, loved, loved the show. So did we.

My microwave died. Yes, this is a big deal. Since I’m working (leaving the house 5:15 and not getting home until 10:45ish) dinners have been on the fly. That means microwave. So now that means pain-in-the-butt trying to heat a can of soup on the stove. And MORE shopping.  All our appliances are going to die within the next year or so, so I’ve been wrangling over staying with white (all my cabinets are white and it’s a small kitchen) or switching to stainless steel. What do you think?

There have been a few other things as well — writing query letters (more  painful than labor), school carnivals, soccer games, and working way past my bed time…I know, I’ll quit my bitching…

Oh, yeah, and on Sunday I FINALLY met Jill Smokler (a.k.a. Scary Mommy).  That is deserving a post onto itself, so look for it Monday, along with my FIRST GIVEAWAY.  Check back next week to see how you can win a signed copy of Confessions of a Scary Mommy. 

Whew. I’m done now.

Do you have any android apps to recommend?  Opinions on white vs. stainless steel appliances?

Things You Don’t Know About Me

1. I switched my major from journalism to advertising because I can’t spell a single word without spellcheck.
2. I like cake mixes.
3. I have a rather sadomasochistic relationship with my rose bushes.
4. My Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great Uncle was a pirate.
5. I’m afraid of most dogs.  And horses.

Things I’m Knowledgeable About

1. Gone With The Wind. I’ve read it at least five times. I’ve seen the movie more times than I can count.
2. Design on a dime. I can paint houses, tile showers, and lay an entire house of laminate flooring. And I can use the saws and power tools that go along with the job. 
3. Creating meals from whatever you have around. I can’t plan meals. Around 5 PM I decide what I’m in the mood for and see what needs to be used in the fridge. Cooking ensues.
4. Nature. My mom claims some of my first words were “Jacques Cousteau.”
5. Generic trivia. I read  the papers, watch the news, and try to absorb everything. The amount of useless trivia cluttering my brain is immense. It does come in handy come Pub Trivia time thought.
   

 Things I Know Nothing About

1. Starbucks. Never been in one. I must be the only American to never have a triple venti cafe mochacaramelo creamo or whatever it is they call their hooch.
2. Fantasy football. I had someone explain it once, but it was too boring to absorb.
3. Scrapbooking.
4. Reality television.
5. Snow. Dressing for it, driving in it, shoveling it. Never even really seen the stuff.

Things I Believe

1. I believe you don’t need to practice or believe in a specific religion to be a good person.
2. I believe ignorance is not bliss.
3. I believe in Star Wars, angels, and the Tooth Fairy. (Okay, technically this is Kiddo’s quote, but it was too adorable not to include). I believe in the magic of childhood.
4. I believe you don’t have to buy a $30 Elf on the Shelf to believe in Christmas Magic.
5. I believe happiness is not a result of getting something we don’t have, but of appreciating the life and love we do have.