“Life is what happens while you are making other plans,” the sage John Lennon once commented. I’m starting to think I have been a secret contestant on a reality show and there is a hidden camera following my every move, and somewhere out there, my trial and tribulations are providing some belly-aching laughs for someone…
I have had every intention of posting several times a week. I intended to be at least two chapters into my novel. Instead, no posts, two scenes. I have found that when I am utterly and completely angry and frustrated I just can’t write. Perhaps I could fill some notebook pages with unreadable angry scribbles and I have filled many a tear-stained pages in years past, but now, as a “responsible adult,” I don’t seem to have that luxury. Chances are, if things are so bad I am kicking walls, I must then go about the cleaning, fixing, and calling, in a vain attempt to fix the problem.
Some things I have learned over the last few weeks:
1. 10 to 15 foot magnolia trees do not fit well into the back of a mid-sized sedan. You would think common sense would tell you that, but noooo, we had to try it. After standing it up, wrapping rope around the car as if we were trying to tie a deer to our hood, we were actually going to attempt to drive about 2 miles home. Then the car broke.2. We were parked in the loading zone in front of the main entrance to Costco on a packed Saturday afternoon with a humongous tree hanging out of our car…which was dead. We tried to start the car. It just clicked and died. And the brake stayed locked. Not good when you have one of those funky new keyless ignitions and have to press the brake to start the car. After some frantic calls to the dealer to find out if we needed a tow or a battery we had to untie and unload the tree, buy a new battery inside, beg the manager to find some tools somewhere, return the tree, and get home to safety. All with a hungry, cranky 6 year old running around and constant comments from the shoppers coming and going. Always have jumper cables and tools in the trunk.
3. I deserve a maid because washing machines hate me. We are now on…new washing machine number three and have had two repairs as well, all for the same problem…in two months. It was just “fixed” again two days ago, and every time I go to start a load I am in a near panic state hoping the damn thing will start. Washing machines should not cause you to take panic attack pills or send you to marital counseling. Maytag owes me a case of wine, at least.
4. While we are on the topic of laundry, crayons do not do well in the dryer. I opened the dryer last night to find my clothes tye-died and splotched with bright blue. And the inside of the dryer was the shade of my pool. Frantic googling followed. I concocted various crayon stain removal recipes and caught quite a cleaning product fume buzz whilst scrubbing the inside of a hot dryer. All pockets will be checked for crayon nubs in the future.
5. Beauty schools may be a fabulous deal, but a three hour haircut…really? Four hours, when you count drive time. Yes, I got a hand massage, scalp massage, shampoo, blow-dry, and some entertainment watching the uber-trendy students practice their cutting edge stylings all for the bargain price of $12, but…wasn’t counting on another day down the drain…
6. There are no simple projects. I just wanted to level the soil in my vegetable garden. Just… Instead the retaining wall crumbled, and we were once again loading way too much into a little car (12 foot long logs) to make repairs. Saturday we get to play with concrete in an attempt to reinforce the wall we rebuilt. All for some fresh tomatoes and herbs. It will be worth it in a few months, I know it will…
7. MRIs are not for the claustrophobic…unless happy pills are involved.
And now, my future calendar is full, but I WILL find some time to do what I want to do, I NEED to do…in between life getting in the way.
