Just before Kiddo started learning to read I found a Storybook Treasury of Dick and Jane at our library book store. (BTW the BEST place to build a kids personal book collection on the cheap while you support your local public library branch.)
I vividly remember sitting at my kindergarten table and reading from my paperback Dick and Jane reader. I snatched that book up and brought it home imagining hours of bonding with my child while fondly reminiscing about my own childhood.
Instead I learned that the Hubby and I have very dirty minds. It was the end of our innocence.
We always read to Kiddo before bed. Dick and Jane seemed to be the perfect book to get him started reading to us. Simple little stories about Dick and his sister Jane’s adventures with Baby Sally and Spot and the whole vintage clan. A new word or two is introduced in each chapter and the stories slowly build word recognition and reading skills.
Except it became too damn hard to keep a straight face and not start giggling…especially after a glass of wine.
See, Baby.
See, see.
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, Dick.
Look and see.
See Baby.
Sounds like something from the latest Top Ten sexually infused rap/pop song, right?
From Puff and Dick:
Come Baby.
Look up, Baby
Look up and see Puff.
Look up and see Dick.
See Dick go up.
See Dick go up, up, up.
Oh, Jane.
See Dick come down.
See Puff come down.
Down, down, down.
Oh, oh, oh.
See Puff come down.
I swear, we were both biting our bottom lips and struggling not to bust out laughing. Come on.
Jane said, “Oh, Dick.
I cannot find the balls.
Come, Dick, come.
Come and find the balls.”
Dick said, “I see it.
I see the big ball.”
Jane said, “Oh, Dick…”
Or how about:
Come, come.
Come and see.
See Father and Mother.
Father is big…
Couldn’t they change Dick’s name to Tom or Harry? Okay, maybe not Harry…and certainly not Willy. I had to have a lovely discussion with Kiddo about how some boys are named Willy and it is not because they resemble a penis. How about Floyd or Milton or Roger…no innuendos hiding in those names.
Since we are past the days of Dick and Jane in our house, I am generously going to pass along this treasure to another family. And I can’t wait to hear if they have dirty minds too.
And this must be why they don't use the Dick and Jane books to teach reading anymore….the adults just can't keep the smirks off their faces.
My recent post Detours (or exceptionally deep thoughts for a Sunday evening)
You are hilarious! Great review!
This is a comment about And Then I Found You:
How do I love Patti Callahan Henry and this book?
Let me count the ways.
This luminous tale is a fictionalized account of the Callahan family's true-life story. One often thinks about the mother who relinquishes a child, and the mother who raises that child, but this work delves deep into the anquish of the souls of the sister, birth grandparents, and the father of the child.
I believe and sincerely hope that it will become required reading for any woman contemplating the supreme sacrifice, all mothers-in-waiting for their adopted children, the adopted children themselves, and all family members affected.
For those children whose parents gave them up and never consent to be contacted, it is not uncommon for the child to wonder if they were completely unwanted and just walked away from. And Then I Found You offers just one scenario of the heart-rending choice one mother made, and the possibility of a happily ever after.
The Callahans are to be commended for opening their hearts to let the world in on their soul-stirring story. Every time I read fiction, I always wonder how closely events and personal characteristics are to real life, Patti Callahan Henry satisfies this itch with her Kindle e-book, Friend Request. I highly recommend it as a companion to And Then I Found You.
My wife has a set of Dick and Jane refrigerator magnets from her childhood (somehow I missed out on Dick and Jane.)
My favorite is D&J on a see-saw: “See Dick go up. See Jane come down.” Of course, I try to keep “down” covered up.
I once found a modern version of dick and jane it had a line I will always remember it was one of dicks new modern friends and goes like this… dick your bike is rad, totally rad
Kerry, I know this is quite awhile after your original post, but I have been working on an adult version of Dick and Jane, the Fun With Our Friends book. 160 some pages, with all the dialog changed to adult. It is pretty funny and when completed, there will be an accompanying workbook, study guide, etc. I can send you some samples if you like, just email me. I’m a writer, artist, actor, theatre set designer and director, among other things. I write satire and humor. Stay safe.
Come Dick come, see Spot run.