An Ode to Slutty Halloween Costumes

*I am a horrid poet and I totally know it.
The following poem is purely for jest and fun
and because Mama Kat said I had to write one.

I apologize in advance.

*****

Halloween is a night for witches, ghosts, and ghouls,
yet now often teens and adults look like fools.
Gone are the costumes aimed to frighten and scare;
if you’re a woman you must practically show your underwear.

Sexy fairy tale heroines stray far from their books
and naughty angels and French maids give sultry looks.
And who came up with the idea for a sexy raccoon?
Same guy as the sexy ninja turtle, I’d betcta the moon.

And who wants to emulate anyone from The Jersey Shore
with big hair and hoochie dresses, passing out on the floor?
If you are a woman you are supposed to dress like a vamp
and your costume should show off your tattooed tramp stamp.

As I’ve seen teen girls wearing these outfits looking glib,
I wonder whatever happened to that old idea of Women’s Lib?
Women can be beautiful, strong and smart
without looking like a hooker or common tart.

We should show off our talents, our brains, our grace;

for we are better than this, we’ve earned our place.
If I was to go out and have a good time
I think I would pick a costume representing one of my favorite things — wine!