Just DO it.

A quick welcome to all the SHE WRITES BLOG HOPPERS who may be stopping by for a quick read.  I cannot wait to discover all of your blogs about books and writing, my greatest passions.  Thanks for dropping by and feel free to sit down, relax, and stay for a little while….
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I’ve been on a bender.  A writing bender, that is.  (Well, there was some wine involved, but regular consumption doesn’t count and is good for you.)

I’ve convinced myself that I have no hopes of ever finding a real paying job due to the crappy economy, hiring freezes at all my previous places of employment, and my complete absence from the job market for the last seven or so years.  I can imagine the human resources director, her face screwed up as if she has just been squirt with Tabasco sauce, as she reads that I have “wasted” nearly the last decade at home raising my kid.   SHE manage to work and raise kids.  What have I been doing all that time besides eating chocolate covered Oreos, taking tennis lessons, and catching up on all the fine daytime television programs on Lifetime and WE? 

I’m not even going to begin to defend myself for being a SAHM and raising a fabulous kid. Or mention that I basically remodeled my house with my own two hands.   Or that I wrote a book.

Oh wait, I haven’t finished that yet.  But I’m working damn hard on it.   I work on my manuscript as if it is a real job.  If I win the writing lottery, it’s something which might actually earn me a pittance someday so I can deduct my lovely home office on my tax return.  It’s something that brings me overwhelming joy and a sense of accomplishment some days, while others I want to chuck my laptop into the pool–kind of like a real job.

As of today’s count I am at 65,000 words.  That’s a whopping 260 pages of words, my words, flowing across the pages…err…screen…and maybe they don’t all quite flow…yet…  Okay, so I may have 260 pages of absolute crap that would embarrass a 5th grade teacher–I just don’t know yet.  Some days I am exuberantly proud of what I created, others not so much.  I hit my goal of 5,000 words per week for the last two weeks.  I am inching closer to the end of my first draft, the plots are coming together in a somewhat tidy little bow and  the end is in sight.  I can get there, I CAN.

And then the rewriting will begin.  The merciless editing.  Can I  rip sentences and entire scenes I agonized over for hours or even days to shreds?   Will I be able to banish them from the manuscript completely into the black hole of the delete button?  Can I do it?  Am I that strong?   I think I need an editing boot camp class.

I am desperate to find some critique groups, others writers or editors who can read whatever crap I may be spewing out and tell me how utterly screwed up it is (and how to fix it).  I need to reread all the grammar and structural guides I poured over during school.  I want my killer Northwestern journalism professor to attack my printed pages with his omnipotent purple pen, slashing away at my misplaced modifiers and dangling participles.

But first I must just do it. Writing is something I love, something I need…even if some days I am terrified of my own keyboard.


19 thoughts on “Just DO it.

  1. vinobaby

    We need to find one. Otherwise I’m going to have to homeschool myself with all my old creative writing and journalism textbooks. I’m not sure how much my old brain will remember.

    Reply
  2. Tara Scalzo

    Great post! I just found you on Mommy Bloggers, glad I did. As a fellow writer, I can totally understand what diligence it takes to write a damn book! But it sounds like you’re on the right (write) track!

    Reply
  3. Deborah Lawrenson

    You write very well. And I remember very well that feeling of being terrified at the moment my fingers were poised to write, because I wanted it so much. You already have the answer to that one, right at the top!

    Found you on the SheWrites site – good luck.

    Reply
  4. Brenda Kezar

    Another SheWriter here!

    I found myself nodding in agreement at your post–I’ve been through some of the same (homeschooling SAHM for a decade, went back to work due to economy, now back trying to write again in earnest).

    I tell you, we writers must be gluttons for punishment to put ourselves through all this to chase the dream, lol.

    Still waiting on my winning lottery ticket . . . 😉

    Reply
  5. meaganfrank

    So have you fallen off the wagon…or gotten back on? Writing is so much like an addiction and I loved the images you used to capture that love-hate relationship all writers have with the words that consume them. I am inspired by this…so I’ll be back for more. (go figure)

    Reply

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