There’s a Frog in My Toilet

It was 6:48 a.m. on a lazy Sunday morning. I stumbled out of bed and walked to…well, where most people head when they first wake up…the loo.  My  bladder full, my eyes still half closed and crusted with sleep, I raised the lid.

A giant turd sat at the bottom of the bowl.  I ran through my litany of swear words in my head. I thought I had trained my boys better. They didn’t even leave the seat up anymore. How dare they leave me a present!

Then the turd moved.

And I screamed.

Say hello to rana sphenocephala (a.k.a. the Southern leopard frog). While I am quite fond of frogs, I do not care for humongous ones hanging out in my toilet. That thing nearly scared the crap out of me. (Which would have been problematic, considering the toilet was obviously otherwise occupied.)

Apparently, I had the same effect on that slippery critter, because it swam into one of the holes to hide. 

I  fetched the hubby and my camera.

We banged on the bowl a bit and scared him back out. He jumped out of the bowl and hopped around the bathroom until we caught him with the net.

Yes, we actually have a critter net handy at all times. You’d be amazed how many lizards dare to venture onto our porch, even though the cat is waiting to turn them into a gory toy.

Mr. Leopard Frog did not want to go easily. Before I could twist the top of the net shut (I’ve seen snake catchers do that on Nat Geo and Animal Planet) he leaped across the bedroom and tried to get under our bed.

Now this was just getting nasty. Frog and toilet germs did not belong in my bedroom.

After some antics that would have made the Three Stooges proud,  I trapped him in the net  and dumped him in the backyard.

I have no idea how he got in to my toilet, and I don’t want to know.

Meanwhile, we had to keep all this on the down low so Kiddo wouldn’t be afraid to flush the potty ever again.

And all this before I even smelled my coffee.  I deserved a freaking a mimosa that morning.

14 thoughts on “There’s a Frog in My Toilet

  1. Abby

    Holy crap. That would pretty much secure the decision to add a little Kahlua to the morning java, no? When I was little I heard a story about how some guy had a snake come up through his toilet and bit him on the balls while he was sitting there, and from that point forward I was always paranoid (minus the ball biting, of course.)
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  2. Janel

    OMG! Creepy crawlies of the reptilian or amphibian nature freak me out. I think all of my neighbors within a two mile radius would have heard the screams. Bravo in capturing the slippery bugger. A truly superhero feat before coffee. 🙂

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  3. cravesadventure

    Growing up on the farm I would have taken a frog over the dead squirrel that backed up into the toliet from the septic system – ewwww!!!!

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  4. bocafrau

    I would have screamed the house down… which I actually did once. I was about 7 months pregnant with my middle daughter yacking away on the phone with my sister and walked into the kitchen… in the middle of the white tile floor sat a humongous toad… I screamed at the top of my lungs. My poor sister thought something was wrong. I think I scared 10 years of her life… 🙂

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  5. Anna

    Oh my gosh – I'm never going to be comfortable alone in the bathroom again. Seriously? You deserve a lot more than a mimosa!!!

    Thanks for linking up to #findingthefunny!

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  6. Holly@300poundsdown

    AAAH!! I would die. What if you had actually sat down first?! It is the morning and before coffee and I usually have only one eye half open right about then. I am going to be slightly paranoid now for awhile every time I sit down!!

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  7. Emily

    This just happened to me, then before I flushed, saw what I thought was poop on the side of the toilet. Just as I was yelling at my husband for exploding and leaving it for me I realized it was a freaking frog!!!! WTF first thing I did was the search for a frog in the toilet and found this article. Crazy.

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