I sat on the table, the paper crinkling under my slowly expanding bottom, my hands clenched at my sides. The lights were dimmed as the tech squeezed a cold blob of goo onto my abdomen. It was time for my 16-week ultrasound.
It was time for me to see who was growing inside me.
I was nervous as hell, as was to be expected. Pregnancy #1 hadn’t gone to well and had ended after only 11 weeks. This little girl was sticking around though, I knew it, I could feel her strength, I could see my belly slightly expanding, I could imagine her tiny hair follicles growing into downy strawberry blonde curls.
I just needed to see her and she would be real.
The tech smiled as she angled the ultrasound wand around. “Looking good,” she said. My little princess measured at the perfect size for her e.d.d., her little heart was pumping away, her profile looked a bit like an alien, but so what. She was doing okay.
“Do you want to know the sex?” the tech asked.
Hell yes. I was not going to buy all green and yellow clothes for her. I needed to break out all my old Barbies, stuffed animals, and Cabbage Patch Kids to decorate her room. I needed to make a final decision on the nursery set. I needed to have those little knit Mary Jane booties sitting in her drawers waiting for her delicate feet.
I squeezed Hubby’s hand as shivers ran down my spine. “Yes, tell us,” I gushed.
“Congratulations. It looks like you are having a boy.”
My smile dropped faster than boobs after breastfeeding. Did I hear hear right? No freakin way. IT CAN’T BE A BOY! Hubby reached down and gave me a hug, looking so proud of himself for possessing masculine sperm.
“Are you sure?” It was early. How could she be so sure?
She pointed out the painfully obvious fifth appendage on the image.
What’s worse: a girl with three legs or a boy?
I wasn’t sure.
I pasted on my dazed country club smile {no teeth and glazed over eyes} and held it together long enough to reach the parking lot. Then I proceeded to collapse as I broke into hysterical tears.
I can’t have a boy. I was always supposed to have a girl. I don’t have any brothers. I have no clue what to do with a boy. He won’t play dolls, or wear cute dresses and pig-tails while playing with My Little Ponies. He’ll pee standing up and stick bugs up his nose and fight and like sports and comic books and want me to buy him playboys when he’s a teen. I can’t do this. I’M SUPPOSED TO HAVE A GIRL.
Somehow I made it to work. I sat in the lunchroom like a zombie clutching the ultrasound in my lap, just staring at the alien creature growing inside me. A co-worker asked me who’s picture it was. Her eyes grew wide when I said it was mine–I had yet to even announce I was pregnant. She whooped and attracted everyone’s attention when I said it was a boy. Congratulations and well wishes flew around the room like a swarm of mosquitoes. In the end, I was emotionally drained.
Don’t worry. By the time my son was born I was completely sold on the whole boy thing. I wouldn’t have it any other way. But I needed a little time to get used to the idea. Much better to break down in an empty parking lot than the delivery room, right?
This post was in response to one of Mama Kat’s writing prompts:
Barefoot and hormonal…describe an incident that upset you when you were pregnant, but now looking back makes you laugh.
Congratulations for having a little boy then. As for me, at the end of the delivery, I was told that the baby was in distress and they couldn't hear her heartbeat. They called the doctors, etc…Turns out, my daughter was perfectly fine, it was my midwife who was returning to practice after a few years' break. They all left my room laughing.
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I was so sure I was having a boy! There was no way I wanted a girl – the teenage drama, the angst, etc. When they told me I was, in fact, having a boy hubby was so relieved – he was afraid that if it had been a girl I would have been devastated and wouldn't have bonded with the baby!
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Love the quote "my smile dropped quicker than boobs after breastfeeding." Laughed out loud!
So well written, and totally conveyed how I felt when I had my boys. This was good, I could picture your face dropping, feel the disappointment. Bravo Vinobaby!
My breakdown, when I was told I was having a boy, all alone, with no help to teach him how to pee standing up, or to spit long distances, or to throw the baseball and get on the team, was in Target.
I was looking for pants for my daughters, 5 and 7 at the time. I ventured over to the boys' section and began blubbering. Then crying. Then hysterically screaming about how I could not have a boy because the boys' clothes were all ugly.
AL Fetherlin
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hahaha! I remember the feeling when I was told I was not having a girl and instead having a boy. Great story!
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Aren't you glad you had a boy though? My first was a girl, but I had hoped sooo hard for a boy first. I was the oldest and only girl in my family and it sucked! I was so sure I would have a boy first~alas not my fate.
I love my Sweetpea but boy is she DRAMA with a capital D! My second was a boy and I have to say, Bubba is the most loveable baby and beyond I could have ever imagined!
There are certainly advantages to both!
Thanks for the laughs 🙂
Stopping by from MamaKat's… http://gleaninggrace.blogspot.com/
"My smile dropped faster than boobs after breastfeeding. " I just finished breastfeeding when I read this and laughed so loud I startled the baby! Great job with this prompt!
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I was like that with my last- my third boy. When I found out, knowing that meant I'd NEVER have a girl, I needed a little time to get used to it.
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Now I am SO happy I don't have to deal with all the girl drama–it starts so early!
But it is so much easier to dress boys–grab some jeans/shorts and a clean t-shirt–done. Easy-peasy.
We have enough drama outside our house to be dealing with any drama queens IN it–no thanks. Boy are so easy-going.
Hope you didn't wake the baby–sorry :~)
How scary–glad everything turned out fine.
Yup. That was me with The Small One. I wanted him to be a girl. I already had one of each – no idea why it mattered so much – but it did at the time. Good thing we get over these things, huh? Eighteen years is a long-arse time to devote to a gender grudge.
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I'm sure he'll be happy to do girly things with you to satisfy your girl lust like tea parties and the like.
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I agree! Once I stopped crying and the people in the store stopped staring, I realized, I had two girls, a little boy would be fun!
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I definately agree…great line
My cousin did not find out what she was having but was convinced it was a boy, so much so she didn't even have a girls name. When her daughter was born she was so out of it, from exhaustion and the drugs that she said she was too tired to think of a new name, and that they should still name the baby Henry. Luckily no one listened and little Ella has erased any memory of wanting a boy 🙂
stopping by from red dress club
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I completely know where you are coming from. When I was pregnant for the third time, the pregnancy was a surprise and that was enough of a shock to get over. When they told me it was a THIRD boy, I held it together until we were able to get out of the god forsaken office and I went into hysterics in the car. I had some growing pains getting used to being the only girl in the house. But you know what? Being the Queen is GOOD!!!!
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I felt the same way about my son. My husband was euphoric. A boy a boy a boy! I was…not. It wasn't until he was born and I saw him thrashing around trying to get loose from the nurses (all three of them – it took 3 nurses to keep that kid on the table because he was born with unheard of muscle strength. Head up? Check. Arms strong enough to roll over? Check. LEGS strong enough to get himself back to the other side? Triple check.) that I suddenly fell in love.
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My Thing Two was supposed to be my girl. I was STUNNED when the sonogram tech announced that the baby was a boy. Better then than when delivery came, right?
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