It’s no big secret that I have been hunting for a job to supplement our income and give me a bit of my own life back.
I’ve only applied for five jobs so far but my phone has yet to ring with opportunity. Perhaps it’s time to start applying for the jobs listed below. All are real and unedited jobs(except to remove locations and numbers) I found on my local Craigslist yesterday.
Don’t blame the lack of grammar or morals on me…
Bikini Carwash
We are now hiring girls to wash and detail cars in their bikinis.. If you are pretty, look good in your bikini, are loud, have a flirty attitude, and can stand in the sun all day we want you!!!!
We are Rise & Shine Carwash located at XXXX at the Citgo gas station at the corner of Old XX Highway. We have two shifts 11-3 & 3-7.. or you can work all day!!
You will make all of your tips which range anywhere from 20$- 100$ a day… Its really up to you.. if you need are serious please respond to my add with the days and times that you are available
and a picture so i know what you look like and I will respond with my phone number…. Talk to you soon
Compensation: Tips..$40.00-$ 100.00 per day
seeking apprentice for body modification
for any or all of these fields:
Piercing
3D Body Implants
Branding Ear Pointing
Shaped Punches
Transdermal Implants
I’m a very motivated, dependable and reliable person. This is a path that I would like to otake to help shape the rest of my life. Please contact me with anything you think may be of interest to me.
compensation: n/a
ATTRACTIVE LADIES WITH COMMUNICATION SKILLS MAKE A $1000.00 WEEKLY
Body wax\bleaching assistant needed
Cleaning/Janitorial
A CLEANING COMPANY F IS IN NEED OF 2 PERSONS MEN and WOMAN PREFER IF THEY ARE HUSBAND AND WIFE TEAMS. DUTIES ARE TRASH COLLECTION, SWEPT FLOORS, DUSTING,VACCUM CARPET CLEANING, AND ABOUTH TWISE A YEAR CARPET TREATMENT EXPERIENCE AND STRIPP AND WAX EXPERIENCE REQUIRE HAVE OWN TRANSPORTATION., NEED GOOD DRIVING RECORD. BACKGROUND CHECK.
THIS IS A PART TIME BASE ON 2 OR 3 HOUR DEPENDING IN YOUR SKILLS
PREFER IF LIVE CLOSED TO THE JOB SITE THE HOURS START AT 8:00PM
NO ALARM SETTING CODE.,ONLY KEYS FOR ACCES
PLEASE LIVE ME A TEXT. MESSAGE AT xxxxxxxxx BE ESPESIFIC ON THE TEXT,IF LIVE CLOSED BY HOW FAR.,IF HAVE TRANSPORTATION.,IF HAVE EXPERIENCE
Compensation: $7.50 AN HOUR X 2 OR 3 HOUR A DAY X 7 DAYS A WEEK
Experienced Pet Bather
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Compensation: $9-10 per hour
female model or like model
I need only real people, fakes and criminals keep out.
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Compensation: TO DISCUSS
Real Couples for TV show $$
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Compensation: $570 per person
I wonder if I could get a call back from any of these jobs? Doubtful. Maybe I should send a bikini shot along with my next resume…
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You should apply for the third one! You obviously have communication skills since you have a blog!
And you don't even have to send them a nude picture of yourself… I mean, it's kinda great!!! Buy a bikini and go make $1000 a week!!! Good luck 😉
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hysterical! Bikini housemaids…really? I'm wondering what you could possibly get tipped for?
Hi Visiting your blog via SITS. Glad I did, I love your blog. One of my friends, Lisa, has been searching for a real job (unlike the others you posted above) for two years. She once set up a fake Craig's List ad posting a job to see what kind of responses she got so she could compare her resume to others. If you're interesting in reading it, let me know & I'll send you the link. Good luck to you on your job search.
LOL! 🙂
You might want to check out the Problogger job boards to see if you can find any freelance work. 😉
That's hilarious! I think I'm now going to go check Craig's List to see what fabulous opportunities await in my town!
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I would like to respond to his "ADD" (ADHD?) as my need "are serious" and I can be loud. I think I qualify? If that doesn't work, I'll just take my bikini-wearing sass over to the bikini maid services.
Personally, I think they all should be placing ads (not ADDs) for editors or offering themselves out to be part of clinical psychology trials, as they might have a better response rate.
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Oh my gosh! I hope you get the waxing job! Think of all the blog material that would provide. LOL
gland expression and 2 years of experience is only worth $9-10/hour. That's just cruel.
But I don't like cleaning my own house…and I"m not very good at it. I don't think some creepy old guy leering with me while I scrub his toilet is worth ANY amount of $$. Ick!
But according to Craigslist these ARE real jobs. And they want "real" people (no fakes or criminals keep out). Scary!
Might be a better (and far safer) idea. Thanks!
Let me know if you find any good ones ;D.
Somehow I never pictured myself working for someone who is obviously illiterate. Not with my college edumication and everything. {sigh} You go work that bikini, Girl.
You are evil and sadistic for even suggesting that! I am terrified of a bikini wax by a professional–no way I'm going to let some novice wax my muff, thank you.
Seriously. Imagine how you would smell at the end of the day.
Seriously???? Well, at least these are good for a blog post!
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Oh yes, I understand that..just meant they aren't intended for the average sane job seeker!
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—–Original message—–
I was disappointed to see that the pet bather job didn't require working in a bikini. I don't think that one's worth your time.
Thanks for the laughs! I'd love to know how many applicants some of these employers get. The Bikini Car wash sounds like about the best opportunity of the lot.
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This is the most absurd (and hysterical) list of jobs I have ever seen. I can't believe that you found all of these jobs in your local area. It makes me wonder what's on my craigslist—I may even check it out. Good luck on the job hunt! I wish I had some advice to give, but all i know is that it takes time.
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Holy hell! This is fantastic. I think you should go with the bikini car wash position. I mean, $20 in tips for standing on a street corner for four hours in your bikini? Hell yes! On a serious note, definitely sending you positive job vibes.
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I never knew that Craigslist ads are this funny. This is rich. I wonder if Jay Leno's writers should be contacted. There you go, I just gave you a job lead 🙂
Dropping in from SITS to say hello.
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The bikini maid service totally reminds me of Susan's side gig on Desperate Housewives. You should definitely check that one out! 😉
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This was great! I just went through the process of finding a real job. Not the most fun! Found your blog on SITS 🙂 Love it!
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Thank you for the laughs. For those who have no choice and in really great need, you should try the above lists while waiting for a serious job. 😉
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