Dear Incompetent Parents of Obnoxious Children:
Please stay out of my movie theater. I beg you. If I had more balls (or technically any at all) I would whip around in my chair and tell you to control your rotten child, but alas, I was raised with manners—unlike you.
I go to the discount theater with my own child fully realizing there is more leniency there. It is where I taught my toddler how to behave in a movie theater. But I TAUGHT him.
It is not a place where you let kids run wild and free. We are not at the zoo or playground.
I really did not appreciate your little boy bouncing on the back of my chair and blowing spit bubbles into my ear. I was rather annoyed when he dumped his jumbo candy into my purse (perhaps sugar was not the best thing to give a wired child considering you I wanted him to SIT STILL). I started getting pissy when he began shouting “I want to go home!” at the top of his whiney voice. Guess what? I really freaking wanted him to go home too. Perhaps that was a subtle clue for you to remove him to a place where you could have a nice little chat about indoor voices.
I understand kids will wiggle around and talk during movies. This is a given. My own child does a bit. But when you converse back with him in your full-on-New-Jersey outdoor voice you really aren’t setting very good example. You kinda need to whisper to him, get close in his ear, and explain that YOU DON’T YELL DURING A MOVIE. You drop your voice to that very quiet but dead serious tone and tell him. If you do not have that very useful I mean business now voice, get one. Threaten his life or to take away his TV or video games or his popcorn and candy. Or heaven forbid, tell him if he doesn’t behave he will miss the rest of the movie.
You see, kids don’t automatically know how to behave in theaters (or restaurants, on airplanes, I could go on and on). It is not an innate behavior. That is why we must TEACH them how they should behave. It’s kinda our job.
So asking him, “Jakie, don’t you want to sit down?” isn’t really going to work. Obviously he does NOT want to sit down. He wants to run up the row bumping everyone’s chairs and making us spill our drinks in our laps. You TELL him to sit down. Try it. It may work better. YOU are the parent. And if you cannot control your spawn in any way it is time to leave.
And that brings me to people with infants. I completely understand it’s too hard and ridiculously expensive to get a sitter. That’s why I have no life. You can bring your infant to a movie if it will stay sleeping or at least content. But if that baby starts screaming at the tops of its tiny yet extremely effective lungs it is time to STEP OUTSIDE. I don’t care if you don’t want to miss a part of the movie. THE REST OF US don’t want to miss it either. When I can’t hear the already deafening dialog over your baby’s wailing it’s time to go. And bouncing in the isle while the baby wails and you hiss “shhhhhhhh, shhhhhhhh” over the sound of the movie doesn’t cut it either. Into the lobby, I beg you.
What’s missing in these situations is a little thing called common courtesy. I understand it is no longer common, but please learn about it.
And Incompetent Mom—you are SO lucky it was a cheapo movie. If I had paid $15 a piece just for us to walk in the door I would have been in the managers face to have you removed. But alas, there are always a few families like your around, which is why I hardly ever set foot in a movie theater anymore. Life is too short to pay to be in your presence for 2+ hours.
Sincerely,
A Mom with Manners
AMEN! What is it with people who let their kids act like demons because they don't want to parent!? When kids act out at restaurants or on planes it takes all of my self control not to lose it with the parents. I haven't been to a movie theater in years so I can't really relate there.
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Hah! I will not return to a certain restaurant for the same reason.
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I agree. Parents must take responsibility for their children, and if they can't control them they shouldn't take them places where their inability to behave will disrupt others enjoyment of the event they paid to attend.
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Totally and completely agree!! I would have been the mommy who would have turned around and asked her to make her child stop. Stuff like that just makes me go GRRRR!!
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I normally don't like to go to the theater at night because it's more expensive, but the benefits are that most theaters don't allow children under a certain age to view non G-rated films after 6pm or so. I'm with you on your complaints!
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You've totally nailed this one; and I'm with you 100%!
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Preach it sister! I wish more theater managers would ask people like this to leave. The other paying patrons would greatly appreciate it. Better yet, if you know your child can't sit quietly through a 2 hour movie, rent one for home or join Netflix and you can listen to your child scream in the comfort of your own home, and we can watch a movie in peace.
(visiting via PYHO)
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Amen! Kids are going to be a little wiggle and maybe ask a few questions, but they need to learn to control themselves. My step daughter's mom says "Peanut, that's not appropriate" in this nice sugary voice while Peanut is kicking her in the shin. I try not to step on her toes but sometimes I can't help it. "Peanut! You know better, you are in time out NOW" and then she listens. It's like magic.
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We like the discount theater too, but it does get a bit wild and crazy in there!
Oh, it's so frustrating.
I tend to be lenient when it's a g-rated movie- b/c really, if you don't have kids, what are you doing there? So we're all sort of in the same boat. Doesn't mean that kids can act like brats… but I did want to punch the guy who was turning around and shushing my boys who were talking in normal voices before the previews had even started. Jerk. He moved seats and then during the movie, my boys were so good… and his grandson(or what I guessed to be his grandson) was a loud, whiney brat. Oh, karma, I do love you sometimes.
Um, tangent much?
I get annoyed at movies that are NOT for kids where there are little ones in there who are loud and annoying. I get that it's expensive to have a babysitter. but, having a loud and cranky 3-4 y/o in an R rated movie at night? That really irritates me.
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I started taking my kids to the free movies they play during the summers before taking them in to a new one.
And you're a better woman than I am, if that brat had been kicking my seat and dumping candy I totally would have said something, or if not wanting the confrontation I would have gone out and complained
And this right here is why I haven't yet gone to a theatre that is meant for moms with small kids to come. I get that it would be a nice getaway for some parents, but I'm afraid that I would be so annoyed with those without common courtesy. I prefer to wait until the grandparents come to visit and then get out without the munchkins! Wish others could or would do the same, or at the very least, teach their children manners. In short: I'm with you!
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LOVE this post. People comment all the time about how well my children behave when we are at a restaurant. Really? We taught them the same way my parents taught us. You sit down, respect other people (who are also paying), and be quiet! Have I mentioned that I love this post? (Oh… and we go out all the time with 2 and 1/2 year old toddlers and a one year old. It CAN be done.
Kristen
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