Those Days Go By

My high school reunion is Friday night.

I’m not going.

And that’s okay.

I have plenty of excuses as to why I’m skipping school (though I never did back in the day), but the biggest hangup is that I simply cannot believe twenty years have slipped by.  It’s as if Father Time stuck a Dyson vacuum to the bottom of his hour glass and he just sucked those days away.

Granted, I just “celebrated” a birthday days ago. In certain lights the lines on my face freak me out and I start to understand why women shove needles and knives into their aging skin.

But even when I’m fighting the monotony of suburban family life and the emergenices only a mature, responsible adult must face (i.e. plumbing leaks, insurance companies, orthodontics) I don’t feel like I’m a REAL grown-up.

I remember going to my mom’s 20th high school reunion. I was sixteen. It was a weekend-long event at a fancy hotel by the beach. My parents would not leave me home alone, so I watched TV in the hotel room while they dressed up and mingled with old school chums. They were all so OLD. So settled. Successful. They’d been plugging away at their careers for two decades, married for nearly as long, and discussed their teenagers and plans for becoming empty-nesters in the near future.

I can’t be that old.

Thanks to the wonders of Facebook, we don’t even really need a real life reunion. From what I’ve seen, most of my class is nowhere near the same level of adulthood as my parent’s generation. Many of us are still single or newlyweds. My classmates have newborns, not teens. We’ve gone back to school, changed careers, and most of us still feel as if we are on the bottom rungs of the corporate ladder. We’re not settled.

No banquets and formals for my peers. They are going to partake in an all-night bar hop. Perfect for a generation of Peter Pans who refuse to grow up.

Our class song was Boyz II Men’s “It’s so Hard To Say Goodbye to Yesterday” — which I remember as a funeral dirge played during Lethal Weapon 3. Gag me with a shovel. (I voted for Alphaville’s “Forever Young” —  check out The Killers cover of it below.)

For me, it wasn’t hard to say goodbye to high school. I counted down the months, days, and hours until I escaped to college. It was not the best time of my life.

I’m not sure I’ve lived the best time of my life.  I’d like to think the best is yet to come.

And I’d like to believe I’m not all that different than the dreamy-eyed girl of twenty years ago.

I was struck once again by our supposed maturity when the Offspring released “Days Go By.”  When the band hit, they were so wild and slightly outrageous. And now they are old enough reminisce. Perhaps this should be our reunion song . . . If I was going . . .

14 thoughts on “Those Days Go By

  1. Wayne_W_Smith

    I had my 20 year reunion in June (I didn't go) and it lead me to a lot of the same type of reflection. It is fascinating how certain life events causes one to enter this state of mind.

  2. Shell

    I was so excited to leave high school. I never feel that pull towards looking back at those days(college is a little different) and I haven't attended any of my hs reunions yet. My 20th is just a few short years away and even though in some ways, it feels like a different lifetime, at the same time how did that much time pass???

  3. Joyness Sparkles

    I home educated through high school and you could not pay me to revisit with any of the bullies that I previously attended classes with. I am so thankful not to have a class reunion, but that is just me. 🙂

  4. Michelle

    I HATED high school. WITH A PASSION. Have NO desire to go to a class reunion. EVER. The same judgmental people I went to school with are just a little older and a little more judgmental. I judge myself enough. I don't need THEM judging me too.
    My recent post PYHO: Chick Fil-A . . .

  5. bocafrau

    Reading this I was doing the math and it would be 15 years for me. I can't believe I've been out of HS that long. I remember when our 10th reunion was planned and I have zero interest in going. I can so relate to this…

  6. Julie

    My 10 year was a few years ago and I did not go because it was my birthday and a bunch of other stuff going on. I knew that none of the people I considered my close friends were going to go and the ones who were going wouldn't recognize me. Maybe at the 20 I'll go but we'll see!!

  7. MomJovi

    I'm just three years behind so spoiler alert: I'm sure I'm going to be writing a similar post. I feel exactly the same way. In fact I've had a post brewing around in my head for a couple weeks about how tripped out I get sometimes when I stop and think just how old I am, even though I still feel like I can't possibly be a grown up.

    Our class only had one reunion so far — the 5th. But that was before Facebook so no one knew what people were up to. I didn't go to that one, and I honestly can't see myself flying all the way to Pennsylvania to see people I don't keep in touch with anymore … for a reason.

    And yeah, I was already out of high school (by one year) when my mom had her 20th reunion but my daughter will be 7 when mine rolls around. It's a whole new world for our generation.

  8. aka_vinobaby

    My parents told me that everyone mellowed out by reunion time, but I don't know. I still carry some of the "if I wasn't good enough for you then, why should I want to ever see you again" trauma, but I don't know if I'd outgrow it IRL. Or if I'd revert to my shy wallflower status. Guess I'll never know.

  9. aka_vinobaby

    There are some people I want to see, but I can't see traveling and hotels and sitters when most of my few close friends will not be there. Maybe your friends will make it to your 20th. Lucky you have time!

  10. aka_vinobaby

    It IS a whole new world. Maybe that's why my class is just doing a bar hop and the formal sit-down promy thing flopped. If it was in town (therefore I had a quick escape route) I might consider it, but it's just not worth the travel. Or drama. I'll stay home, stroll down memory lane via my ipod, and drink some wine (at a much cheaper cost than the Hard Rock). Cheers.


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