Fifty Shades of Chicken. Yes, it’s a real book. And in my humble opinion, far better than that poorly written smutty best seller.
What happens when a young, free-range chicken falls under the mercy of a dominating, ravenous chef (who happens to also sport fabulous abs)? You get a delightfully quasi-erotic collection of food porn that will leave you salivating for more.
My review, both tantalizing and freaking hilarious, is up at BookshelfBombshells.com. You know you are just dying to read it. But first, check out the dominating chef Shifty Blades’
abs trussing skills.
Whenever I review a cookbook, I select a recipe to sample. The selections in this book were almost just too scrumptious, too tempting— Dripping Thighs (roasted chicken thighs with sweet and sour onions), Cream-Slicked Chick (crisp baked chicken with honey mustard and lime), and yes, even Cock au Vin (braised chicken with red wine, mushrooms, and onions).
Tell me those titles would not make for some invigorating table conversation.
While many recipes appealed to my rather open-minded tastes, I decided if I was going to sample one of Shifty Blades’s epicurean fantasies, I was going to be bad—not just naughty, but slathered in sumptuous butter, calories, and decadence bad. I went all the way out of my (healthy eating) comfort zone with Go Get the Butter Breasts (sauteed chicken breasts with aromatic brown butter and hazelnuts). These babies just oozed desire—hot, gooey, and utterly sinful. I had to make them early, pounding the breasts into submission, gently spicing them, then slathering them with creamy butter. I tried to resist the fragrant flesh while I photographed them in all their glory, but I gave into temptation. No self-control. Holy shit,
they were divine. Perhaps the dish was not my best culinary performance, but it was eagerly devoured by all, and a decadent aroma lingered in the house for hours. One diner innocently announced, “Like, whoa, that had some bang in it.” If only he knew.
Go Get the Butter Breasts
(a.k.a. sauteed chicken breasts with aromatic brown butter and hazelnuts)
serves 2 to 4
1 teaspoon coriander seeds
2 boneless, skinless (about 8 ounces each), patted dry with paper towels
1 teaspoon coarse kosher salt
¾ teaspoon finely grated orange zest (from one small orange)
¼ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
¼ teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
1. Using a mortar and pestle, or the flat side of a knife, crush the coriander seeds and put them into a bowl.
2. Using the side of a rolling pin, gently pound the breasts until they submit, flattening them ¼ inch thick. Put the chicken into the bowl with the coriander and add the salt, orange zest, pepper, and nutmeg and toss to coat. Let marinate in the fridge for at least and hour, or better, up to 6 hours.
3. Melt 1 ½ tablespoons of the butter in a very large skillet over medium-high heat and let it simmer until it turns golden brown and starts to smell nutty. Add the chicken in batches and cook until golden on both sides, about 3 minutes per side. Transfer the chicken to a platter and tent with foil to keep warm.
4. Melt the remaining ½ tablespoon butter in the pan and add the nuts. Let them heat up and crisp until very fragrant, 1 to 2 minutes. Serve on top of the breasts.
You know you want to read the full book review now. You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You’ll feel a tantalizing flutter down there
which could be hunger…or something else…
And if I haven’t won you over yet: GO READ THE REVIEW. You won’t be sorry.
And watch this book trailer. (narrated by none other than Sir Patrick Stewart. I think.)