One of our local mothers has decided that she has the literary expertise and moral superiority necessary decide what we should all be reading. Or more appropriately, NOT reading. Apparently, we are not able to handle the Gossip Girl or It Girl novels and she has created her own little crusade to protect us from ourselves…by hiding the books in her closet.

Yes, Tina Harden has been stashing four of MY library’s copies of Cecily von Ziegesar‘s young adult novels in her closet for two years. According to the Orlando Sentinel, Harden leafed through the books after her then 13-year-old daughter checked them out from the local public library. She was outraged over the “numerous curse words” and terms such as “stoned” and “marijuana” she found within. She decided that as a taxpayer she should be able to choose which “material is inappropriate for minors” and should be made unavailable to them. After all, librarians are just “public servants.”

I’m sure no respectable 13-year-old has ever been exposed to any of “those words,” right? By hiding the books, she can prevent her daughter from ever knowing about such sordid topics, I’m sure. AND she can also protect us from corrupting ourselves, should we choose to read such filth and depravity.

Now, I never read any of the Gossip Girl books. From what I have heard, they are a bit racier than the Sweet Valley High and Girls of Canby Hall young adult novels I read as a child. But I read those when I was in elementary school. The only time I was ever denied a book was when I was caught reading Judy Blume’s Forever when I was about 10. By the time I was 13 I had read Gone With the Wind twice, was speed-reading through Stephen King’s vast anthology, and was studying Lord of the Flies in English class. Somehow, I managed to resist the urge to become a promiscuous-paranormal-prejudicial-psychopath, just because I had read about such things.

Has she considered what a shining example she is providing her daughter by breaking the law? By refusing to return the books or pay the $85 overdue fine she is stealing from us, the taxpayers, and she appears to be proud of her crime. Which direction is her mercurial moral compass pointing now?

Harden is blind to two crucial points. First, it is each individual parent’s responsibility to decide what their own child may read. If you don’t want your kids to read a book, that is your decision. But don’t you dare impose your tastes, morals, or righteousness on me and my family. And second, in today’s hyper-stimulated, digital society we should be thrilled anytime a kid is picking up a book instead of a joystick, phone, or remote. By holding a tangible paper and ink book in their hands and engulfing the flow of actual compete sentences into their brain, these kids are an example of a nearly endangered species which we should be protecting and encouraging at all costs.

I hope the library has sent her fines to a collection agency. I am tempted to purchase copies of all four books and donate them to the library, rendering her silly and irresponsible cause obsolete. Perhaps I should send her a copy of Fahrenheit 451 and 1984 while I am at it.

As responsible parents, it is a crucial part of our job to guide our OWN children through the ever-changing world of media. But it is my kid, my choice.

And whatever you do, keep your hands of MY books.