First came The Wine Sisterhood, Girl’s Night Out, Working Girl Wines, and Little Black Dress: sassy wines with snazzy labels targeting the growing women’s wine market. Then came Mad Housewife, Mommy’s Time Out, and Mommy Juice: wines marketed towards not just women but {gasp} Mothers.
The big brouhaha is over Mom wines has me in a sober stupor. I was overjoyed the first time I ever spotted a bottle of Mad Housewife as I pushed my shopping cart full of toilet paper and a testy toddler through my local grocery store. It might as well have been illuminated by a ray from heaven. How did they know I was a mad housewife? They must have made it just for me. I immediately popped a bottle of chardonnay in between the applesauce and fruit snacks even though it blew my grocery budget. I didn’t care. I deserved a treat too.
Now, don’t worry. I didn’t rush home, leave the groceries in the trunk and plop Kiddo in a playpen in front of Baby Einstein while I cracked open the bottle and downed it in one goldfish bowl-sized glass. Relax. I am a responsible parent. I am an adult. And I am not an alcoholic. But I did enjoy a glass later while I cooked dinner.
And yes, my child was still awake.
And yes, he sees my husband and I enjoy a glass of wine on a regular basis.
And I think that is just fine.
I do not understand the whole viewpoint stating children should never see a mother enjoy a glass of wine. Beer is marked directly to dads. It is perfectly acceptable for fathers to sit and watch the game or hang by the bbq grill with a frosty beer in hand.
This Father’s Day cake from our local grocery store is a perfect example of the double standard.
Dad + beer = good
I do agree that kids should not see their parents acting like drunken fools. I’m not talking about downing a bottle while watching Sponge Bob with the neighborhood kids. Wine should not be the beverage of choice for an afternoon playdate. But there is nothing wrong with savoring a glass of wine with dinner, even in front of the children.
So many average Americans just don’t understand the culture of wine. It’s in no way a beverage to chug just to get drunk. It is a delicacy to savor, to swirl in a glass to release the aroma, to sip while enjoying each variety’s layered and distinctive flavor. Wine has a unique relationship with food; when properly paired with a dish (be it calamari or cheesecake) it enhances the complex flavors of both the food and the wine.
It’s no wonder Europeans think Americans are so uptight. Wine is not taboo across the pond; instead it is a common beverage to drink with meals. Many children are given watered down wine from a young age in order to develop their palate and an appreciation for the taste. Growing up in Germany, my mother’s primary school took field trips (including tastings) to the local wineries. Wine and the art/science of winemaking is a vital part or their culture, industry, and life. {Calm down, I’m not advocating doing that here, just loosen up a bit, please.}
We have all heard about how numerous studies have shown moderate consumption of red wine is good for your heart but it also has some other benefits.
Red wine can rev up a woman’s sex life: An Italian Research study found that women who were moderate red wine drinkers had a higher libido than those who drank other alcoholic beverages or who abstained. (Women who drank more than two glasses were no included in the study so drunkenness would not influence results.)
Wine is good for your waistline: Reuters reported trim middle-aged women who drink moderately (red wine especially) are more likely to maintain their weight as they age opposed to non-drinkers.
And in our home wine is also beneficial to our sanity. Many nights when Hubby finishes working at his stressful job he joins me in the kitchen while I cook dinner. We listen to music and sip on a glass of wine as we discuss our hectic days. It is a ritual: we bid adieu to our accumulated stress and relax as we enjoy each others company. Hubby’s doctor actually told him that a daily glass of wine keeps his blood pressure down and keeps him off Prozac.
Before children we relished going to wine tastings and preparing gourmet wine paring dinners with friends. At one time we had a moderate collection of decent wines, but my choice to stay at home with Kiddo limited our wine budget significantly. We still crack open a good bottle to celebrate birthdays, holidays, good news and to share with great friends. But if we ever win the lottery we will have a fully stocked and rocking wine cellar. No more cheap wine for us.
We have always been label whores. Wine purchases are often made not by the WA Points but by unique and funny names and labels. And as a woman and a Mom I am drawn to the labels that reflect my lifestyle: Mommy Wines. They are unpretentious, engaging, and a bit tongue-in-cheek, just like me.
Yes, I understand that some people out there are alcoholics or just do not know when to say when. But the rest of us should not be judged by their behavior. I am an adult. I am a responsible parent. And I enjoy wine.
Yes, I deserve a bottle of Mommy wine. Not because my life is so damn hard I need to get drunk, but because I deserve to be recognized as a responsible and respectable wine consumer.
Keep bringing those beautiful bottles on.
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this post!!! I couldn't agree more. I'm tired of the men/women double standards. And If I weren't pregnant with kiddo #4 right now, I'd be right there with you, buying the mommy marketed wines to enjoy with my girlfriends or hubby over a nice dinner! I think families that show RESPONSIBLE alcohol consumption in front of their children have less to worry about when those kids get older.
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Personally, I'm a big proponent of keeping a bottle of schnapps nearby when you have children. Hell, at least wine is civilized! I wish I was a connaisseur!
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Kuddos to you. I grew up in a house with a very french mom. I was introduced to wine at a very early age. But I remember that when I was in High School and all the kids were sneaking drinks I didn't because it was not taboo for me. If I wanted a small glass of wine or a little beer I was allowed to have it. In my house now, my kids see us have a drink and they ask if they can taste and we are OK with that. They tend to spit it out but I do not want it to become taboo for them either. I feel that if you hide things they will want it more and will find other ways to do it. Thanks for being you. Love your blog.
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Love this post! I couldn't agree more that beers and dads are fine, but moms and wine is taboo. I remember one morning dropping my kids off at school and during the long drive threw the entrance to the front door I started noticing all these fake owls with signs attached perched in the trees. I slowed and read "Wooooo is drinking at your house? Whooo has wine in her coffee cup?" I looked at the kids and they said, "Yeah, they want us to tell them if you drink at home." Well, that was it. I yanked those kids out of that school. I say, a little wine is just fine!
I am with you. i probably wouldn't enjoy a nightly glass if I weren't home with my three kids all day, but this is my life. It's a good one. And I like wine. I like mommies who like wine.
There is a double standard for women who do not have a drinking problem (that is different!).
cheers, wb
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This is a wonderful post! I would say, "Sing it, sister!" if I knew you better. What the hell, I'm going to say it anyway, "Sing it, sister!" 🙂 You're totally right about children being allowed to savor a little glass of wine at an early age. In France, wine is part of the meal, children included. And it has many health benefits when consumed in moderation. I'm not an avid wine drinker myself, other than the occasional glass of "chick" wine from time to time, but that's not to say I disapprove other women drinking it…without having to justify themselves!
Love this post. I totally agree there is nothing wrong with drinking a nice glass of wine after a hard day. Growing up in an Italian family wine was next to water with every meal. As a mother of a teenager I actually try to set the example by showing her that wine can be and should be consumed for the pleasure not to get wasted.
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Great post, I just bought a wine called flip flop, and I bought it totally due to the cute flip flop pic on the label….the marketing works!!
LOVE this. There's nothing wrong with having a glass to go with dinner or to unwind – which is entirely different from drinking for the sole purpose of getting sloshed.
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i'll drink to that. *clink*
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I love this post! You speak with the voice of reason. When I saw your blog name "vinobaby", I knew I had to read more. I, too, appreciate wine of all kinds, and belong to the wine society – no we are not snobs, just people who enjoy tasting and learning about wines.
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I never drink alone; my kids are always with me. If I waited until no kids were around to drink it would be called abstinance! One of my kids came home with a health sciences quiz once about the top 3 drugs in Canada (where we live). Can you guess them? I guessed wrong. They are caffeine, alcohol and tobacco. I was so upset that the teacher used the terminology "drug' to refer to my two favourites: coffee and wine! How else am I to get through motherhood and the hockey season? Well anyway, we had a good kitchen table talk about that "quiz" !!! I like one called Beach House with a starfish on the label – especially when i am no where near a beach house and long to be 🙂
Wooohoo. I like the part where it says that moderate consumption of red wine is good for the waistline! Yeah baby.
Your post was very insightful and I couldn't agree with you more. Being Italian, I grew up with wine at the table for dinner every night. My parents let us try it and it was never a big deal. None of us grew up to have alcoholic issues.
I am very intrigued by this post. I don't drink wine, but I do drink beer…what can I say? And I do drink it in front of the kids while we're grilling out, making dinner, etc. I see nothing wrong with it, and they've never seen me drunk…I hate hangovers. I don't see the huge issue, but I feel like a "closet-drinker" because all the other moms I know are against drinking in front of the kids. Thank you for writing this and making me feel less alone on this!
Visiting from Bees With Honey 🙂
Stopping by from Let's BEE Friends. I totally agree! I actually wrote a post about Mommy Wines a while back too! It's crazy how its ok for men to come home from work and have a drink but some think its not ok for women to have wine at the end of the day to chill out after a rough day with the kids. Great post!
Yup, right there with ya! I'm a firm believer in that what is not made a big deal and the child is used to, he/she won't find it to be taboo or highly desirable when older (as long as responsibility is part of the equation). My mom sent my the Mommy Juice wine for Mother's Day. It was great!
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Amen to that! I love me some "Little Black Dress!" …. Cupcake chard is really good too. Cute label. Great girlfriend gift too!
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Thank you for such a well said post! I totally agree that we deserve mommy wine! I know I do. I too love cooking at the end of the day and looking forward to a glass. AND my kids see this and I don't think there's any harm in it. I'm now a drunk, I am a responsible adult who likes to enjoy those little 'flavors' of life like good wine and good food. My latest discovery is Ménage à Trois Red. Whoop whoop! 🙂
CHEERS MAMAS!
Wait, kids aren't supposed to see their moms drink? Whoa… in that case, bigtime mom fail for me. I regularly enjoy a glass of wine with dinner. And my husband and I have been known to enjoy a beer or two on our deck for happy hour while our toddler plays nearby in her baby pool. We neither drink to the point of drunkenness nor negligence, so I really don't see the problem. If there truly are people out there who believe alcohol is a taboo that should only be consumed privately, then they either need to lighten up or take a hard look at their own alcohol consumption to determine why they feel that way.
Visiting from Sunday Funday and learned quite a bit [more] about wine from this post. Thanks!
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So happy I found you. Love your sense of humor and I have no disagreements about any of the wine debates. I wish I enjoyed wine as much as you do. I too love to look at all the new wines that they are coming out with. I do enjoy a good glass and never hesitate to have a beer with dinner. -Laverne from kindredadventures.blogspot.com visiting (late) from Sunday Funday… I think I'll go have a glass now!
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Imagine that, we CAN be responsible… Thanks for reading.
My MIL used to keep a bottle of Manicheviz in the fridge and called it her "medicine." I think I'd rather sip cough syrup, but whatever…
I never sneaked drinks until college either. Never wanted too. Thanks for the love.
That is evil! I would be so busted. But I don't think I am doing anything worth busting. Good for you for yanking those kids.
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I just bought some of that wine too. Seemed perfect for 4th of July weekend festivities. Cheers!
*clink* cheers!
Nah–you are not alone. And I like a good beer sometimes as well. And cider–perfect for a hot afternoon bbq. Thanks for stopping by!
Oh, I'm so jealous. I haven't tried Mommy Juice yet. Your mom rocks!
Oooh, I have some Cupcake I'm taking with me this weekend as well. Cant wait to try it.
Yes, I've tried the Menage a Trois–with that name I just had to buy it–and it was delish! Cheers!
Completely agree with your comment about how they need to "take a hard look at their own alcohol consumption to determine why they feel that way. " Just because THEY may not be able to handle stopping after one drink doesn't mean they should judge us because we can.
Hope you enjoyed that glass last night–thanks for dropping by–cheers!
Yeah, what you said! Dad + beer = good but Mom + wine = unacceptable?
WTH? I guess I am not really surprised that moms all around the country are dealing with this double standard. But I do feel lucky that I live in my liberal hippie bubble (Austin, Tx) where the majority of the moms I know don't think twice about sharing wine stories.
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Great post and I'm in agreement. The older I get the more the saying, "Everything in moderation," rings true for me.