Monthly Archives: October 2011

Howl: A True Story

A howl crept into my dreams last night, blurring the hazy line between real and make-believe.

Again it interrupted, closer. Louder. My ears, tuned through the years to hear any childish murmurs, perked up, alert, listening. It was 3:10 AM. The night should have been silent and still.

Screeching. An owl? Incomprehensible howls. A cat in heat? A wounded animal? It was creeping closer.

“Help! Somebody help me!”

I bolted strait up in bed, preying my heavy-sleeping husband heard it as well. He did.

“Oh, God… HELP!”

My husband peered out the window above our heads. I dashed to the blinds facing the street. A dark figure, a man, lurched down our quiet suburban street, haphazardly dodging between the streetlights as he screamed.

We looked at each other, panicked. We were awake, right? I pinched myself to be sure. What should we do?

I grabbed the phone and for the first time in my life dialed 9-1-1.

I frequently call the number in my dreams (more technically, nightmares) and usually the phone just rings and rings until it rolls over to the droll automated voice telling me all lines are busy, please try again later. Or someone does finally answer and I have no voice…

Someone answered.

“911, do you have an emergency?

“There’s a man waking down my street. He’s screaming for help.”

“Does he look injured? Do you need an ambulance or police?”

“Yes, I don’t know what’s wrong with him, he’s just crashing into things and screaming for help.”

“We get calls like this all the time. Are you sure you need support?”

Am I sure?

Crashes echoed down the sleeping street as the man overturned recycling bins and garbage cans. “Oh God, oh God, help meeeee…”

My husband peered out the stained glass of the front door, it’s cut-work refracting the already disturbing scene outside. A knife filled one hand, a baseball bat the other.

Our son crept out of his bedroom, his sleepy eyes wide. “What’s going on?”

Even with the full moon I could not make out any details of the man. Was he injured? A victim of a hit and run, burglary, or domestic dispute? Was he holding anything? An animal he hit with his car…or a child?

Was he a victim or a villain?

I read the newspaper, watch the news, and read far to many crime novels. I am acutely aware of the heinous acts man can commit against even those he may love the most. He could be fleeing the scene of the crime. Was there a scene of horror within some neighbors darkened house? Guns, knives, flames, even samurai swords have destroyed lives in even the quietest, supposedly safest suburbs nearby.

“Yes, we need the police, now, please…”

Three minutes, forty-eight seconds. That’s how long my call to 9-1-1 lasted. Two police cars silently sped down the street, stopping just past our house. My husband burst out the door, his curiosity getting the best of him. I carried my son back to his bed then waited by the door for answers.

Two houses down, the police wrestled the man to the ground as he shouted, pleaded for help. Help from what? Drugs? PTSD? It was the night of 9/11…was he being chased down by ghosts and destruction?

I will never know.

Police cars cruised our street long after the ambulance pulled away. All were silent: no lights, no sirens, once they passed no traces of their presence lingered on the moonlit lane.

Yet the rank smell of fear clung to us as we tried to return to sleep. We could not find safety or solace even huddled together under the sheets in our suburban glen. My hand grew stiff from grasping the phone, but I would not release my lifeline.

I would not go back to sleep this tonight. I held out for my saviors: daylight and coffee.

Costumes for the Ages

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When I was a kid, many moons ago, most Halloween costumes were homemade. Our parents dug through closets to pull out their own old clothes to make costumes (I remember many cheerleaders, hobos, varsity football players, and 50’s costumes) or if they were crafty, they sewed, painted, or pieced together something on their own.

My favorite costume:

a hand painted brown paper bag turned into a Rice Krispies box.

Love.

Princesses circa 1979.

I think my tin-foil covered crown and egg carton flowers are way cooler than the

thin, plastic store bought costume on the left.

But I’ll admit: making costumes now is much harder. Most years I just don’t have the time or inclination.

Kiddo’s first Halloween he wore a candy corn covered onsie (he was only weeks old) until his diaper had a blow-out.

Next year he wore a clown costume I found in a bag of hand-me-downs.

I think the fireman was next: the coat a gift from Grandpa (a fire chief himself). He wanted to be just like like him.

I must admit, the two Peter Pan years have been my favorites so far. During this phase, the only movie he would watch was the classic Disney version full of Pirates, Lost Boys, and his first crush, Wendy. I’ll never forget finding him in tears on the living room floor, devastated because even though he really DID believe, he still couldn’t fly.

I was lucky enough to track down this costume at a consignment shop. He still has it, and wants to keep it forever (for his kids — gasp!).

My little boy who doesn’t want to grow up.

That’s just fine with me.

Now he has matured into his Star Wars phase. I spent hours sewing his Jedi costume last year (read all about it here), so yes, that puppy’s getting recycled this year (and maybe next year if he still fits).

But whether the costume is homemade or bought after Halloween off the clearance rack, it’s the thought, and the memories that count. For kids, Halloween may be all about the loot and the parties, but for me, it’s all about capturing a little piece of childhood to live on forever.

I’m linking up with the lovely Nicole at By Word of Mouth Musing’s Howlerific Halloween. Join the fun! (and our bat’s named Staraluna)

Also hooking up with the fabulous ladies of Four Plus and Angel and Sellabitmum for their Boo in the Blogosphere Halloween party.

Come join the fun!

22 Things I HAVE Done { + Link-up}

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*Last week so many of us came up with our list of things we have not done. Fun, but slightly depressing. This week we need to celebrate all the cool things we HAVE done. Have your own list? Link up below. Inquiring minds want to know.*

Tried to catch a rattlesnake.

Wandered through flooded Venetian piazzas with a champagne bottle in hand.

Found a baby sea turtle on the beach.

Zip-lined (with my 5-year-old) through a rainforest.

White water rafted down the river where Deliverance was filmed (I heard no banjos).

Pierced more women’s, men’s and babies’ ears than I care to remember.

Sold wedding gowns to Bridezillas.

Watched Cinderella smoke a cigarette in the tunnels below Disney.

Watched a volcano erupt as the sun rose.

Been trapped in a herd of buffalo.

Ridden Space Mountain twenty times in a day without getting nauseous.

Wept tears of joy as my newborn was placed in my arms.

Been bumped by a shark while boogie boarding in the “Shark Capital of the World.”
Savored the applause onstage during the curtain call after a performance.

Stood in awe beneath the Sistine Chapel.

Lived with 18 different roommates from 5 foreign countries (not all at once).

Been licked by a giraffe.

Sang and danced barefoot in the rain (with a few thousand other DMB fans).

Dug a grave in my yard.

Sat with a friend (and fed them booze) while they got a homemade tatoo.

Written ~~79,476~~ 80,568 words of my shitty first draft (still not done though).

Savored a $100+ bottle of wine (crossed off my “things I haven’t done list” this weekend — whoohoo!)

Now it’s YOUR turn. Have you scored the winning soccer goal? Bungee jumped? Woke up with a tatoo you don’t remember? Won a spelling bee? We want to know what makes YOU special.

Looks like we can link up with Mama Kat on Thursday too!

Legoland Florida Review

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*Note: This is a completely unsponsored post and unbiased review. I paid in full for all Legoland admission tickets, food, parking, and souvenirs. Free tickets would have been nice, but alas, no free rides here.

Legoland is Florida’s newest and most anticipated theme park addition. Located in Winter Haven (about 45 minutes south of Disney) on the grounds of the old Cypress Gardens, it is a brightly colored mecca for Lego lovers and fans. Be warned: it IS a park for kids. It is not like EPCOT or even Universal, which play to a definite adult audience as well. Legoland claims its target audience is kids 2 to 12. I would say more specifically 5 to 11-year-old boys. For them, it is a wonderland.

We visited with my son, an 8-year-old who lives, eats, and breaths Legos: their ideal guest.

The park was everything he wanted and more.

We spent the day at Legoland on Monday, October 18th, the 3rd day the park was officially open. We were hoping to avoid the crazy opening weekend crowds. We did. The park was not busy at all. In fact, when we arrived at the empty parking lot we thought the park was closed. Lines for all rides (if there were any at all) were short. Now I understand why Legoland will be closed two days during the week (Tuesdays and Thursdays).

Rides and Attractions

Legoland has four roller coasters and all are great for kids. The height restrictions are minimal: 36″ to 44″ will get you on all the rides.

The Dragon is an easy coaster, full of knights, castles, and of course, dragons.

The Coastersaurus is an old wooden coaster refurbished from Cypress Garden days. It’s bumpy and a bit different, but fun (once you get past the fact that you are trusting a very old wooden ride). My son actually looked a little nervous and asked the attendants if it was really safe.

Test Track is a short, swervy ride, but it was the steepest and fastest — a 45 foot drop before you hit the switchbacks — but still okay for most kids.

Flying School is a suspended coaster (meaning you hang from the top) where kids and adults can get the feel of flying without the fear like other suspended coasters (such as Sea World’s Manta). It may look a little daunting, but it’s an easy thrill.

If you want to ride the coasters I would recommend hitting them first. If you turn right at the carousel (another holdout from the Cypress Gardens days), you can swing towards the Dragon first then follow the path along the back of the park to the others. We walked right on or waited only about 5 minutes for each on the day of our visit, but I have read reports of an hour wait — no fun with kids for such a short ride.

The Ford Driving School was a huge hit. Kids ages 6-13 sit through a short movie showing them how the life-sized Ford Explorer outside the ride was built and teaches them basic traffic laws and instructions. They are led out to the driving school track, a cute replica of some city streets complete with lanes, stop signs, and traffic lights. They drive their own cars around (no parents allowed) following all the laws to get their license. It was adorable, and the kids all seemed to be beaming with pride that they were driving all by themselves. There is also aJr. Driving School for ages 3-5.

We didn’t get to try out the Boating School, also located in the Lego City area, due to some technical problems. Only one boat was running.

The Lost Kingdom Adventurewas just as fun for the adults as the kids. Guests ride four to a car through an ancient Egyptian tomb. It’s not scary. Each person has a laser gun to shoot at targets scattered through the day-glow painted ride and a scoreboard on their dash.

The Pharaoh’s Revenge is a glorified ball pit, but the kids loved it. Inside this small two-story netted area kids fire foam balls at each other (and parents if they don’t wait outside).

Only ride the Aquazone Wave Racers if you want to get wet. Spectators can set off water cannons as the 2-person wave racers spin by. Fun for riders and spectators if you can manage to wait near one of the cannon buttons.

The Safari Trek is more for the littlest ones. While the Lego animals are amazing to behold — towering giraffes, water-squirting elephants, lions, zebras, even meerkats — the mini-jeep tour lasts maybe two minutes. I wanted to get close-up photos of the ‘animals’ so we waited in line for 15 minutes (longest wait of the day by far), then as we buckled into our vehicles, the ride broke. We sat for another five waiting to go somewhere. Walk the perimeter of the ride to see the cool animals, and don’t bother actually riding unless there is no wait.

Build and Test is a air-conditioned break-room for the adults while the kids have a blast building innovative race cars from dozens of bins of blocks. Kids fill several four car ramped race tracks with their creations, each vying to get their vehicle to the finish line first. Chairs line the walls for adults to chill out in the A/C while the kids are busy. We had to drag our Kiddo out after a half hour.

Toddlers vs Big Kids: Speaking of little ones, Duplo Village is geared straight towards the smallest guests. The area features a mall-like play area, a Duplo block building area, and a few easy rides for toddlers 36″ and up. This area will not interest any kids over 5 though, so parents/groups may need to split up if they want to give toddlers their own time.

I have a photo tour of Miniland linked here, so just a few words: it’s cool. Even someone not really into Legos should appreciate these model cities. You could spend hours checking out all the amazing details the master builders included. It takes about 20 minutes just to stroll around the area, but plan on spending much more time there. It’s worth it. But save it for later in the day when you need a break from the rides. Bring some binoculars if you have room in your bag.

Part of the original Cypress Gardens is still on display. Take the time to wander through the lush gardens of old Florida. Where costumed Southern Belles once greeted guests, Lego figures now stand — kinda kitsch, but a nice homage. Make sure to stroll under the immense banyan tree, planted in 1936. Many kids will be quickly bored with this area, but adults will appreciate the relative peace, beauty, and quiet. It’s also a great place to walk a tired little one in a stroller at nap time.

They also tried to preserve some more of the old Cypress Gardens by keeping a water ski show. The Lego version, Pirates’ Cove Live Water Ski show, is not a show stopper, but the kids seemed to like it. You won’t see any of the old water ski pyramids or difficult stunts and tricks. Instead, bumbling Lego costumed soldiers try to save Isabella’s pirate ship from the bad pirate Captain Blackbeard. It’s a bit cheesy for the adults, but the kids seemed to dig it.

The Island in the Sky is a rotating platform which rises over 100 feet above the park to give a 360 degree view of the area. It is not scary or fast, and the breeze from that height is quite lovely. If you are lucky you can catch part of the ski show from above and spot the Bok Tower in the distance — far more interesting that the Kmart and Bealls across the street.

As you stroll through the park, pay attention to the nearly life-size characters scattered around. The detail is amazing, and some have been created by Lego designers with an interesting sense of humor.

Food & Dining
The official policy says no outside food or drink except for baby formula or special medical needs. However, at the time we went, no one was checking bags for contraband pb&js or chips. No alcohol is sold in inside either (but it’s only open until 5 anyway, so you can hold out).

There are 11 spots to grab a bite throughout the park, from funnel cakes to fried chicken. The selection in each dining area is specific: for a burger you must go to Castle Burger or Cap’n Blackbeard’s Burger. Lakeside Sandwich Co. only has a small selection of premade sandwiches, wraps, and salads in a refrigerated case.

For more variety you can try FunTown Pizza Pasta Buffet ($10.99 adults, $6.99 kids) for all-you-can-eat pizza, pastas, and salads (but how much can you really eat for lunch?).

We chose the Market Restaurant and were pleased with our choice. They feature several stations including fresh fruits & snacks, soups, basic salad (not a salad bar though), a few Asian dishes, mac & cheese, and rotisserie chicken.

For $8.99 I bought a 1/2 chicken meal with two sides (choice of veggies, rice, or roasted potatoes) that was more than enough to split with my son. The chicken was tasty and the veggies fresh. My husband bought the 1/4 chicken meal ($6.99) and was stuffed.

There is also a Lego building station inside the restaurant to keeps kids busy while parents catch their breath — a nice touch.

Legoland’s signature snack can be founds at Granny’s Apple Fries. I saw countless visitors snacking on the warm cinnamon and sugar coated Granny Smith apple fries served with a whipped cream dipping sauce.

Shops

Unlike some of Central Florida’s other theme parks, Legoland is not covered with souvenir shops and kiosks on every corner. It’s rather refreshing. Most of the park’s 11 retail outlets are close to the main entrance (which means they are packed around closing time — shop early in the day and they are empty).

The Big Shop is supposed to be one of the largest Lego stores in existence. I certainly saw every Lego set I had ever seen in the catalogs lining the walls. And the prices ARE NOT MARKED UP. They are the same as online at Lego.com or at your local superstore (Toy r Us is actually more expensive). You can buy a souvenir set without being fleeced, and they have many to choose from that you can’t find locally. WIN.

Minifigure Market is touted as THE place to build your own custom figures, but there is not much to choose from. At the time of our visit there were about three different torsos and legs with a Halloween theme to mix with different hair and hat styles. There are no licensed figures to choose from (i.e. Star Wars, Harry Potter, etc.) Kiddo was not impressed. (3 mix & match Lego minifigures for $9.99) They also sold the minifigure “magnet” 3-packs ($14.99). They had a good selection (same as online) and this is the only real way to get many of the highly sought after licensed figures. (Beware: some of the figures cannot be detached from their magnets any longer.)

The coolest shop is the Pick A Brick area outside the Lego Factory. The Lego Factory itself is just a two-room “tour” of how the bricks are made, in kid-speak. At the end of the tour an official (and free) Legoland Florida souvenir brick pops out for each child before you walk through the Pick A Brick store. Hundred of colorful bins featuring Legos sorted by size, shape, and color line the wall. Bricks are bought by weight: you fill your bag with whatever you want and it is weighed at the register ($8.49 per 1/4 pound). Not too bad for some unusual pieces. Kiddo picked out some odds and ends he has never seen before for about $5. WIN.

My boys loved the small Lego Studios store, filled with Star Wars, Harry Potter, and Spongebob toys. It didn’t hurt that they have a screen with the Lego Star Wars cartoon playing inside. I had to drag them both out.

There are a few other shops scattered around the park. The King’s Market featured knight and princess costumes and weapons (foam, of course). Outside the Driving School you can purchase an official Legoland Drivers License on a lanyard ($14.99, but you get a paper copy without a photo for free).

Discount Tickets

Regular price adult one-day admission is $75, child (3-12) $65. While this is competitive with other Orlando parks, it is a bit pricey when you consider Legoland is only open from 10 – 5 daily. Annual passes are also available.

Currently, Legoland & Pepsi are a offering buy one adult ticket, get a child ticket free deal. Go to www.legoland.com/pepsi and enter promo code: 11090601. You can only get one free ticket at a time, so if you have more than one adult/child pair you will need to do each transaction separately. The child tickets just went up to $65 bucks, so this is a decent deal.

*(update 10/27/11) Publix Supermarkets are selling discounted tickets: Adult $60 and kids $50 (plus tax), a saving of $15 each from gate prices.

AAA Members can purchase discounted tickets at their local AAA branch, online, or by phone ($55.99 adults, $49.99 kids).

Central Florida Entertainment books have $5 discount coupons.

I’m going to stay on the lookout for discounts in the Lego Magazine. They run specials for all other parks, so hopefully soon some Florida deals will appear.

Parking is $12 per day.

Annual Pass Upgrade:
At the time of our visit, you could upgrade your one day ticket to a two-day ticket or annual pass while you are at the park.

The 2-day upgrade was $15 per ticket —not bad — but must be used within 10 days.

An upgrade to an Annual Pass was $50 (+ tax) for adults and $30 for children. It is good one year from the date of purchase and does NOT include $12 parking.

We haggled over whether or not to upgrade to an annual pass. In the end, we did not, mostly because of the 1 1/2 hour drive through rush hour traffic each way and because it wouldn’t include the water park when it opens next spring/summer. We probably should have though.

Overall, we went on a good day. Granted, it was the Monday after grand opening, but the park (and parking lot) were pretty empty and we had virtually no waits all day. If it had been sunny, crowded, and in the middle of summer, it would have been hard to see as much by the early closing time of 5 p.m. We did not get to see every attraction as it was.

The grounds were lush and nicely landscaped. The Lego characters scattered throughout the park were as much fun as the rides. Keep your eyes open to spot “wildlife” around the rushing waterfall and study the details of the “people” around the park.

This park is perfect for elementary aged boys. I’m not trying to sound sexist, but I personally don’t know too many girls who prefer blocks to Barbies. Yes, certainly some girls will dig it (I would have when I was a kid), but if they are more into princesses and fairies take them to Disney instead. If you only have children under age 5 and under 42″ I would wait to go. The rides are geared to kids but not toddlers.

In the end, my son could not decide upon his favorite part of the day. He loved each ride, store, figure, and show. His only disappointments: he couldn’t make a Captain Rex figure and Legoland wasn’t located next door to our house with $5 admission. WIN.

**If you have any questions, please leave a comment and I’ll do my best to answer it for you.

Cheers!

Flippant Foodie Friday: Crepes {part un}

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Have you checked out Bookshelf Bombshells yet? If not, got there…now.

I have a fabulous review of Cooking For Geeks: Real Science,Great Hacks, and Good Food by Jeff Potter up on the site. Check it out. It will prove that I am a real writer and occasionally intelligent, as well. The holidays (there are more of them than just Christmas, folks — get over it) are rapidly approaching, and I always have some guys in my life that are just impossible to shop for. You know who I’m talking about: your techie brother who rarely looks up from a screen, the dear friend who decided to make Napalm in his backyard at age twelve just to see if he could (and still thinks dangerous things are cool) — this book is perfect for them, and perhaps you too. Read the review and see for yourself.

I pick one recipe to “officially” review per selection, and I simply had to experiment with Jeff Potter’s formula for crepes. I have had a secret love affair with crepes since I first discovered them at a French Club banquet in high school, but they can be tricky and time consuming to make. This recipe worked. The directions were clear and easy to follow. And they made sense.

I doubled the ingredients and ended up with 12 thin and pliant crepes. My taste testers swooned over them at dinner (with an Apricot-Dijon Chicken filling — I’ll feature THAT recipe next week). And for dessert, Nutella and banana crepes with a chocolate drizzle. {drool} Try it. Your friends and family will thank you.

1-2-3 Crepes

Whisk or puree until entirely mixed, about 30 seconds:
1 cup (250g) milk (preferably whole milk)
2 large (120g) eggs
1/3 cup (40g) flour (all-purpose)
Pinch of salt

Let rest for at least 30 minutes, preferably longer, so that the gluten in the flour has a chance to thicken the batter. (Stash the batter in the fridge if you’re going to leave it for more than half an hour.)

Making crepes is like riding a bicycle: it takes practice before it’s easy. Expect to completely screw up the first few you make (training wheels!), and keep in mind that while the batter is easy and the technique simple, the error tolerances are actually pretty tight, so don’t get discouraged! Like riding a bicycle, it’s far easier to :: fast; going slow is hard.

Start with a nonstick frying pan over medium-high up the pan for about 30 seconds, or until a drop of water sizzles when dropped into it. Once your pan is at temperature, plan to work quickly: butter, wipe down, pour batter in while swirling, flip, flip again, add fillings, plate, and repeat. Because they’re fast and cheap, crepes are great for dinner parties or brunches, but you should definitely practice beforehand.

Butter: Grab a cold stick of butter with the wrapper partially pulled back, and using the wrapper part as a handle, spread a small amount of butter around the pan.

Wipe down: Use a paper towel to thin out the butter over the surface of the pan, wiping up almost all of it (and on repeats, any crumbs left behind from the previous crepe). The pan should look almost dry; you want a super-thin coating of butter, not noticeable streaks.

Pour: Pour in the batter while swirling the pan. Pour about 1/4 cup / 60 ml of batter into a 10″ / 25 cm pan, adjusting as necessary (you want enough batter to just coat the bottom evenly). While pouring in the batter with one hand, use your other hand to hold the pan in the air and swirl it so that the batter runs and spreads over the surface of the pan. If you can pour batter out of the pan after swirling, you’re using too much. If you’re short on batter, you can “spot pour” a bit in to fill in the gap. This is also the point at which you should check the heat of the pan; it should be hot enough that the batter develops a lace-like quality — little holes all over the crepe as the steam tunnels up through the batter. If your crepes come out whitish, turn up the heat.

Flip: Wait until the crepe begins to brown. Don’t poke, don’t prod; just let it cook. Once the crepe has begun to brown around the edges, use a silicone spatula (one of those folding spatulas works well) to push down the edge all around the circumference. This will release the edge of the crepe so that it lifts off the pan. Carefully grab that little edge to flip the crepe with both hands.

Flip Again: Let the crepe cook on the second side for half a minute or so, until it’s cooked. The first side should come out a uniformly brown tone, so flip the crepe again before adding the fillings. This will leave the better-looking side on the outside of the finished crepe.

Add fillings: Add whatever fillings you like. You can heat and even cook the fillings by leaving the pan on the heat during this step. Or, you can move the crepe to a plate and fill it off the heat if you’re using something cold (e.g., lox, cream cheese, dill). Crepes are a great vehicle for almost any filling, either savory or sweet. If a combination of ingredients works on pizza or in a pie, it’ll probably work in a crepe.

– From Cooking for Geeks by Jeff Potter

22 Things I’ve Never Done

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***I’m 37 and I’ve never:

Kissed my husband at the top of the Eiffel tower.

Wandered through a field of sunflowers.

Played in the snow.

Taken a gourmet cooking class (preferably in Italy or France).

Mastered walking in stilettos.

Officially learned how to surf.

Been published in a national magazine.

Built a bonfire on the beach.

Drunk a bottle of wine costing more than $50.

Cruised the Pacific Coast Highway in a sports car or convertible, preferably.

Been pampered with a massage or facial.

Caught dinner and a show on Broadway.

Been inked.

Bought an expensive designer purse.

Learned to like sushi.

Stared a great white shark in the eye (from inside a strong, steel cage, of course).

Watched orcas breech and porpoise in a frigid sound.

Jumped into a pile of crimson and bronze fall leaves (then raked them up again).

Danced at a masked ball.

Savored a twelve course tasting menu.

Snuggled up with my son in a tent in the woods and protected him from things that go bump in the night.

Finished my damn novel.

**Now Mama Kat and the Pioneer Woman came up with this great list. But while I pondered some of the things I someday want to do, I was thinking about all the cool things I HAVE done.

So I’m going to start a meme for that, so we can feel good about what we have achieved in our short lifetimes.

Come back here next Tuesday and link up 22 Things I HAVE Done. Have you run a marathon? Perfected the snow angel? Eaten octopus? We want to know.

Legoland Florida Miniland Tour

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The Grand Tour via Miniland, Legoland Florida style…
Seven distinctive themed areas, and the “heart of Legoland.”

First stop South Beach. Note: it is the happening South Beach, full of models rollerblading, hunks working out, and hot cars. Twenty years ago it would have been full of 80-year-old snowbirds and walkers.

Lego sunbathers. Now my son will know how to create Lego breasts — fabulous. Please note the chick on the right looks as if she has had work done (this IS South Beach, Miami). Also please note those are NOT water bottles or soda cans on the table (this IS South Beach).

So that’s how you make a Lego banana hammock (a.k.a. speedo).

The Little Havana section of Miami. Please notice the old man in the lower right corner is about to whack the old man in the wheelchair. They take their games seriously.

I spotted Beyonce the Chicken posing on a corner of Little Havana.
(Yo, Blogess, I didn’t know you pimped your chicken down there!)

Kids gathered around the space shuttle, counting down with the clock.

When it hit 00:00 steam came out of the engines. The adults thought it was cool.

The kids were mad because they thought it would actually lift off.

Next head right up the coast to Daytona International Speedway for a NASCAR race.

The infield is where all the ‘real’ fun happens during a week-long ~~party~~ camp-out. The girls are drinking tropical beverages under the umbrella, and I’m sure if I look closely enough there are plenty of beers to be found.

Also note the Lego Port-A-Potties on the right.

A short drive up the Florida coast will bring you to St. Augustine,

alleged home to the Fountain of Youth.

See how the aged strip off their clothes and turn into infants.

I don’t want to go back that far, thanks…

And we can’t forget Key West. Where else can you find cats jumping through fiery hoops (bottom center) and sword-swallowing tightrope walkers just across the street from everyone’s favorite bar. I was pleased to see Legoland flies the Rainbow Flag proudly (must be the European influence — they are far more open-minded and tolerant than us).

This shipwreck was pretty cool. Divers poked around treasure chests, coral reefs, and skeletons as a hammerhead shark prowled above.

I’m not sure where or what time period the pirate scene depicted, but several great sailing ships and a smoking volcano proved to be a big hit.

Next you have to go to Vegas, right?

I dare someone to count how many wedding couples they can find.

There are several by each hotel and many hidden as well, I’m sure.

I like the Luxor because it makes me imagine I am in a desert region full of vast cultural and anthropological history, instead of the gambling capital of the world.

With Elvis, of course. And the guy in the back looks like he is attacking the woman.

Where is CSI when you need them?

While there are many grand Vegas hotels depicted in Miniland,

I like the little wedding chapel.

I’m sure there is at least one Elvis inside.

Ahhh, Venice. Oh damn, we are still in Vegas. Never mind.

It is far too clean to be the real thing. And there are no pigeons. Or Japanese tour groups.

Or authentic amazing food and culture.

On to New York City. This model city is quite large and detailed.

Yes, the man in the orange is a full-sized adult.

They aren’t called skyscrapers for nothing.

Quick stop in Central Park. I’ve always wanted to visit Strawberry Fields.

And I’ve always wanted to see how to make Lego dreadlocks.

I’ve already danced in a drum circle with hippies.

(I would have been the one with the curls and the bell bottoms in the center.)

Who doesn’t love a trip to the Central Park Zoo?

With parrots and penguins and school girls…

The Sound of Plastic, live on Broadway…

and a mugging just outside? (See guy on bottom left with hands up.)

Times Square…wonder if they add in all the drunks and police on New Year’s Eve?

Now off to our stately nation’ s capitol. The Washington Monument.

I forgot to zoom in to see if it had any of the new cracks.

The presidential motorcade moved through the city.

I didn’t spot any Tea Party protesters as it toured our capital.

President Obama and the first family standing in front of the White House.

Now off to Los Angeles for some mega star sightings in front of the Chinese Theater.

(I couldn’t tell who the celeb was supposed to be…any ideas?)

A relaxing concert at the Hollywood Bowl…

A quick trip (just a few steps) to San Francisco’s Golden Gate.

And make sure to spot the crazy cat lady with curlers in her hair waiting to be rescued from her great fire.

And I shall end, with a Lego kiss…

If you have an eye for detail and a love of Legos, you could spend hours wandering through Miniland, carefully examining the remarkable details the Lego builders added into every scene. Even if you are not a Lego aficionado, you will be amazed. Spend some time there.

Full Legoland Florida unbiased review coming up soon.

**This post is not sponsored by or affiliated with Legoland Florida. No compensation was received (meaning we paid for all our tickets, trinkets, parking, and food).

One-Buck Chuck and my Frugal Food Challange

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So back at the beginning of the month I wrote about My October Food Budget Challenge and promised to save ALL of my grocery receipts. The USDA thinks my little family of three should be spending $464 to $963 per month on groceries. I disagree.

Now, I DID mention that I am not including my wine budget. You can’t make me.

But I do have to show off a Target frugal find from Friday:

No, I DO NOT DRINK Arbor Mist.

OR White Zin.

(Well, maybe in college, but that was a LONG TIME AGO.)

But I know people who do.

I’m just trying to be a nice hostess.

(They don’t have to know it cost $1.)

The Martin Codax, however, is a Albarino from the wine reigion of Rias Baixas in Northwest Spain.

Reviews say its a pretty decent bottle for its $16 price point.

Personally, I like this bottle’s $2 price point much better.

I would have bought more, but I scoured the shelves and it was the ONLY one.

I only hope it didn’t sit in a truck for two years and taste like vinegar when we pop the cork.

Now back to the REAL budgeting.

Week 1 was tricky. I hosted Kiddo’s birthday party and had ten family members over for lunch, cake, and drinks and I had to bring store-bought cupcakes into his class. There was also a ton of stuff I use on sale at Publix (with coupon matches–come on, how can I turn down pasta for a quarter?) so I had a much bigger shopping week than usual.

Week 1:

Publix $60.37 (saved $95.41 though)
Aldi $52.49
Walmart $15.84

TOTAL $128.70

Week 2:

Publix: $7.43
Aldi: $36.28

TOTAL: $43.71

The USDA says I should be spending between $108 (thrifty) and $192 (liberal) per week, so even with the big party week, I’m still doing okay.

{sticks tongue out at USDA}

We shall see how it goes. I still have to do a Costco run before the end of the month. Ka-ching.

Flippant Friend Friday: Things I Can’t Say

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Today I’m hanging over at the sweet and sassy Shell’s Things I Can’t Say. You all have been by her blog, I know, whether it’s for her heartfelt Pour Your Heart Out Wednesdays or some of her uber popular and fun memes such as Rockin the Bump. And if you haven’t been by, you need to go there right now.

Things I probably shouldn’t say (or write): I hate children’s birthday parties. Being trapped in a melee of screaming kids running around with pinata bats or priate swords while on a massive sugar-high is bad enough. But having to host my own beloved Kiddo’s party nearly gives me a panic attack.

Make sure you head over to Things I Can’t Say to read all about how I am Martha Stewart’s worst nightmare. Maybe you can relate. Or maybe you really are the hostess with the mostess and thrive in a throng of kids. Chime in on the conversation.

****************************

Now, as a little sidebar, I have to share a MAJOR DISCOVERY that may change your world.

Aldi sells their own version of Girl Scout Cookies.

{GASP!}

You no longer have to wait for the cookie booths to appear in the spring or your coworker to hit you up at work to buy some of her daughter’s cookies. You can get them anytime. Well, at least a generic version of Thin Mints and Samoas (or Caramel Delights, depending on where you live).

This is NOT going to be good for my waistline. Or hips. Or self-control.

I’ll admit…I haven’t tested them out yet…I’m afraid once I take a bite I’ll go back and buy a case. But I do feel it is my responsibility to let you know if they are any good, so I’ll keep you updated.

An Ode to Slutty Halloween Costumes

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*I am a horrid poet and I totally know it.
The following poem is purely for jest and fun
and because Mama Kat said I had to write one.

I apologize in advance.

*****

Halloween is a night for witches, ghosts, and ghouls,
yet now often teens and adults look like fools.
Gone are the costumes aimed to frighten and scare;
if you’re a woman you must practically show your underwear.

Sexy fairy tale heroines stray far from their books
and naughty angels and French maids give sultry looks.
And who came up with the idea for a sexy raccoon?
Same guy as the sexy ninja turtle, I’d betcta the moon.

And who wants to emulate anyone from The Jersey Shore
with big hair and hoochie dresses, passing out on the floor?
If you are a woman you are supposed to dress like a vamp
and your costume should show off your tattooed tramp stamp.

As I’ve seen teen girls wearing these outfits looking glib,
I wonder whatever happened to that old idea of Women’s Lib?
Women can be beautiful, strong and smart
without looking like a hooker or common tart.

We should show off our talents, our brains, our grace;

for we are better than this, we’ve earned our place.
If I was to go out and have a good time
I think I would pick a costume representing one of my favorite things — wine!