Let’s (not) Talk About Money

There was a time when no one ever talked about money. Not how much you made, nor how high your bills soared; it was utterly uncouth to mention what you spent, or even how much you generously donated to charity. Money talk was a complete taboo in polite company, and even behind closed doors within a family it was simply not discussed.

Now everything is flaunted out in the open like a tacky Nude Girls Here flashing neon sign.

In these tough times, it seems as if friends and family are always talking about money — be it how much they have, spend, splurge, or charge.  And it’s getting damn hard to differentiate when to keep my mouth firmly clamped and when to call someone out.  With everyone in such fiscal fluctuation,  personal finance often becomes a main topic of conversation.

But seriously — should it be?

I’ll admit, I am guilty of this faux pas. But for me, it’s more of  a defense mechanism, a last ditch justification. It’s certainly not bragging, although I do want to encourage others to find great deals.

My biggest problem is legitimizing any money I spend. We live on such a shoestring, I constantly feel the need to explain each buck I dole out. For example:

Friend: Wow! I love your new suede skirt and boots! {I think she is looking at me with her eyebrow cocked in a challenging, possibly even accusatory, manner. Panic sets in.}

Me: Oh, thanks! It cost me next to nothing, really. {whispered} The skirt was only three bucks, the boots five. My “secret shopping place,” of course.

Now, why can’t I just say “thanks” and be done with it?  Accept a compliment, instead of rising to a (most likely imagined) challenge?

But then there’s the other side to the coin: the braggarts. We all know them. We might groan inwardly when they open their Chanel-lipsticked mouths. But we never know just what to say to them.

Friend: I just had the most amazing dinner at {insert fancy & overpriced restaurant name here}.  You’ve been there, of course, right?

Me: {smile and shake head politely} Nope. Haven’t made it there yet.

Friend: Well you simply MUST go there. I had {insert $50 Kobe beef burger or $65 prime rib here} and it was just amazing! Really, why don’t you go there tomorrow night? You simply have to!

Me: {fake smile getting painful} Sounds delish. We’ll have to check it out, someday.

Friend: But you MUST! The restaurant is right around the corner from you. Our bill was only $250 for the two of us. And of course we left a $50 tip. You should go. Treat yourself!

Me: Really. Sounds great. We don’t just eat out much.

Friend: I insist!

Me:  Are you treating?

Friend: {aghast} NO!! I am on A BUDGET!

Me: Well, so am I. And dinner there would cost more than my entire month’s grocery budget. Okay? I probably won’t be going there anytime soon.

Friend: Oh. Well…{waves hands in the air dismissing all that I said} Did I tell you about the surf and turf I had at {insert another schmancy restaurant here} last night?  It was only $60. The appetizer was cold,  and my steak wasn’t cooked right and I had to sent that back to the kitchen twice, but the lobster was divine and…. 

 {My eyes glaze over as I imagine the waiter spitting in her food…}

Wasn’t there a time when this conversation was absolutely socially unacceptable? What is the right thing to say when this drivel is shoved down your throat? Sometimes you just can’t walk away, change the subject, or punch the offender.

Another modern phenomenon: friends and family who brag about their new $400 cell phones and $1,500 3-D TVs, and insist on telling you how much they spent on them down to the penny. Then, about a month later, they subtly hit you up for a “loan” to pay their cell phone and cable bills. They’d mow you down if you dared mention the fallacy of their actions. And it really is none of your business how they spend their money.  Except, well, when they spend so much time talking about it, it does become your business, even if you do your best to change the subject and ignore the chatter.

Times are tough for so many people now.  Unless you are Suze Orman, you shouldn’t be judging any person’s financial habits. So…can we just stop talking about it so damn much?

It’s quite possible, the next time you brag about buying the family (all seven of you) Disney season passes (it was only $2,500) then you whine about how you can’t pay your electric bill, I’m just going to walk away.

Or the next time you spend an hour telling me about the six new dresses, three handbags, and ten pairs of shoes you bought yesterday (but they were on sale at Neiman’s), then ask me to install a new garbage disposal in your kitchen because you can’t afford a plumber, I’m going to hang up on you.

It’s one thing to vent to a friend or need a shoulder to cry on, and those are not the situations I’m talking about.  It’s the bragging. The blustering. And the flat-out lying.  Can’t we just all agree to keep our mouths and wallets shut?

Just for today…

Source: google.com via Vinobaby on Pinterest

I fully resolved not to make any resolutions this year.  But while perusing the Sunday paper this balmy New Year’s Day morning, I came across Dear Abby’s list of New Year’s resolutions. She adapted these credos from the original Al-Anon manifesto, so technically, they are twice over NOT my resolutions. They are pretty dead on, so I’ve only slightly modified them to suit my place and time.

Just for today: I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not let all of the hooplah about the Myan Calendar freak me out.  I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once, but not because I believe the world is going to end on December 21st.

I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime. But if I can just do it for one little day, it will be enough.

Just for today: I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine (or images of lounging on a Costa Rican beach, or my son’s smile). I will not let rainy days and Mondays get me down. I will go to yoga and actually try to breathe instead of using the time to dwell on mental to-do lists.

Just for today: I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things I can correct and accept those things I cannot. I am not an alchemist; I cannot turn lead to gold.

Just for today: I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought, and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer. I will not rot my brain watching reality television or Fox News. I will not waste too much time on Pinterest. I will write something.

Just for today: I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. Even if it nearly kills me. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, even if they are cutting me off in traffic and flipping me the bird. I will improve my appearance, speak softly, and not interrupt when someone else is talking. I will strive to make my fake smile seem genuine, and to learn to bite my lip without causing pain.

Just for today: I will refrain from improving anyone but myself. Except for my kid. I’m a parent. That’s kind of my job. Adults, however, are not my responsibility. They are on their own.

Just for today: I will do something positive to improve my health. If I’m a smoker, I’ll quit. (Are there really still smokers out there?) If I am overweight, I’ll eat healthfully — if only for today. If I’m at a good size, I will try to eat more veggies and less crap. And not only that, I will get off the couch (or desk chair) and take a brisk walk, even if it’s only around the block instead of to the gym (where I’m paying for a membership anyway).

Just for today: I will gather the courage to do what is right and take the responsibility for my own actions. I will treat people as I want to be treated. Karma is a bitch, but only if I am. I will be enough.

Namaste, my friends, 
and best wishes for a happy, healthy, and sane 2012.

Wordless Wednesday: the cat speaks…

No. No work for you. All mine.

A cat’s not-so-subtle reminder that I’m on a break…
Hope you all are enjoying your holidays.
Yes, I wrote holidays. And by that I mean: Christmas, Hanukkah, New Year’s, Kwanzaa,
Festivus, Winter Solstice, or whatever other special days you may be celebrating. Deal with it.

Cheers.

Dear Coldplay: a note from the little people

Dear Coldplay:

Tickets for the U.S. leg of your Mylo Xyloto tour officially went on sale Saturday.

Even though I am a massive fan, I didn’t buy any.

I don’t know if I’m more upset with me, or you.

My husband and I caught you last time you swung through Orlando on the Viva la Vida tour. The show was  amazing: a vibrant mix of older favorites flowing into new, and I fell freshly in love with several songs on the album for which I hadn’t shown the proper respect. We had such a fabulous time that we snatched up tickets for a second show a few months later, under the stars in Tampa. But that time, we bought a ticket for our son, as well.

My little guy was absolutely enthralled with the Viva La Vida album. Though he was familiar with the older songs, he knew the words to every track on the then new album, and had mastered the art of pounding the air drum to his favorites. Your show at the Tampa Amphitheater was to be his first venture into the entrancing and exhilarating world of live rock shows.  He was only six at the time. (He also had a  bit of a crush on Apple, and mentioned how we should arrange a playdate for the two of them before the show. We tried to explain that cool as that would be, it probably just wasn’t gonna happen.)

Then the show was cancelled.  He was devastated — we were pretty bummed as well, but, hey, we had caught the act a few months before. Though, I had been desperately looking forward to getting lost in the lush tunes while dancing under the stars. We had to promise (pinky swear, technically) to take our son to see you next time you toured.

And we fully intended to keep our promise.

We bought Mylo Xyloto the day it came out, and had it had been on vinyl, we would have worn some heavy grooves in it already. My kid and I worked on our wild and free dancing to Hurts Like Heaven,  Every Teardrop, and Charlie Brown nightly. We watched  as shows were announced in Europe, and waited for our chance to join in the reverie.


I understand you are a megaband now, a powerhouse quartet headlining massive festivals music across the globe. I realize you currently have a hit album and the band is riding on a wave of success. I get that life is a whirlwind for each of you at the moment, overflowing with fame, fortune, and a maybe little family time squeezed in where possible.

Source: twitter.com via Dedra on Pinterest

But, dudes — the tickets went on sale one week before Christmas. For June shows. And they were far from inexpensive.  $70+ bucks a piece for nosebleed assigned seating. Well into the $100s for anything where we could actually watch you in person instead of the video screens. And that’s not touching the cash for parking, gas, beers, and merchandise.

Most of us little people have exhausted our measly budgets right now. December is rough; every bit of hard earned cash we could scrape up went into the form of bicycles and Barbies, or video games and coffee makers. If we were real lucky there might be and iPad or a new phone under the tree (the better to watch your videos on, of course). But most of us don’t have hundreds left in the kitty for concert tickets at the moment. For a show next summer.

So, as much as it breaks my heart, we won’t be buying tickets now. If you had put them on sale earlier, perhaps they could have been my Christmas gift to myself, or a few months later, they could have been a birthday or anniversary present.

Because as much as I come alive at a show, as much as I dream of dancing under the heavens to Every Teardrop is a Waterfall, as much as I want to watch my little guy’s eyes light up like technicolor stage lights as he hears the first notes of Viva la Vida, we are going to have to pass this time.

It’s just not in the stars…or the wallets…

But best of luck to you this tour.  Maybe by the time the show comes around, we will have saved enough to buy tickets. Or maybe we will take those hundreds of dollars and just buy a new flat screen television, a Coldplay Live DVD, and a couple of decent bottles of wine so we can rock out with you for more than one night only…

Cheers,

A Coldplay Fan & Her Little Family

Central Florida Ballet’s Nutcracker {and an 8-year-old Boy}

We all are guilty of doing things impulsively on occasion — whether it’s just sneaking a box of cookies into the shopping cart, stalking peeking at that old boyfriend on facebook, or deciding to buy a car that day.  Last Tuesday I took a leap of cataclysmic proportions  faith when a “daily deals” email tempted me with an offer I simply couldn’t refuse. I bought tickets to the ballet. And I decided to take my son.

No, I was not drunk at the time….but that would have been a fabulous excuse.

Now, I have a pretty darn good kid, but he’s an 8-year-old boy.  His world revolves around Star Wars, video games, and soccer.  Ballet, is most certainly NOT on his list of cool things to do on a weekend, unless perhaps you can somehow work in sets created from giant Lego blocks and dancers decked out in Storm Trooper costumes. 

But I was dying to see the Nutcracker again. It had been nearly two decades since my first venture into the enchanting world full of mice and men, magically growing Christmas trees, the Land of Sweets, and Sugar Plum fairies. And the music! Tchaikovsky’s enthralling score is one of the most well-know classical pieces in America; I dare anyone out there not to recognize at least a snippet of his grandiose waltzes or zippy Divertissemens which have grown into holiday staples. 

Not long after I clicked that tempting little “buy now” icon I began to wonder what I had gotten myself into.  I would have to dress my son up and make him sit still while girls in tutus pirouetted across the stage. There would be no popcorn or cartoon action to keep him glued to his seat.  I got nervous. Really nervous.

The venue was a lovely theater tucked into a corner of one of the largest convention centers in the country. My son equated it to the international airport for it’s massive parking lots and hanger-like exhibition space. Getting there was an adventure in itself. But once inside there were escalators! And food vendors! And kids everywhere. Hallelujah — I was not alone.

Little girls in festive velvet danced across the lobby, boys stood awkwardly in their Sunday best, and parents flashed looks wavering between pride and death threats. We rode the escalators some more as we waited for the doors to open.

Our seats were fantastic — orchestra left, about ten rows back — and a family with three boys (three!) sat behind us. ALL the children within earshot were on their best behavior; no one kicked my seat, cried, complained, or spilled popcorn in my lap (not that it was allowed inside anyway).  I felt as if I had crossed into a different dimension: I had entered the blissful parent zone.

The music started, and as the plush red velvet curtains rose, a chorus of “oohhs” rippled across the audience.  A little girl behind me actually gasped and stage whispered, “What the…!”  The performers — dozens of children and adults in their sparkling party finery —  flooded the stage. The scene was set. The children were enthralled.

My boy sat still, watching, listening, occasionally even dropping his jaw in awe, for the entire 60 minute plus first act.  Okay, maybe he started getting a little antsy during the last number, the Waltz of the Snowflakes  (one of my all-time favorite dances), but he remained engaged the entire time. He loved the choreographed fight scenes between the Nutcracker’s soldiers and mouse army, the sword play between the children, and the mysterious Drosselmeyer with his magical twirling cape. The pyrotechnics and cannon blasts lit up not only the theater, but each child’s imagination.

We rode the escalators a little more during the intermission to coax any stray wiggles out. I did not give into the tempting hot chocolate or candies offered. Though much of the ballet was to take place in the Land of Sweets, I didn’t need my kid on enough of a high on sugar to actually be there.

Act II was shorter but filled with more “real” ballet than the first half of the tale. While I lost myself in fantasy lands of graceful ballerinas leaping across the stage in their tea-length tulle, my son let loose a yawn and whispered, “Sorry, but this music makes me kinda sleepy.” Apparently, he is not fond of waltzes.  But he jumped back on board as the Cirque du Soliel-esque high-flying hoop dance wowed the crowds followed by the captivating antics of the Russian, Spanish, and Chinese dances.

Our kids are often more mature and intelligent than we give them credit for. Perhaps we should  hold them up to slightly higher standards more often; take them out of their comfort zone of crappy Nick shows and video games and introduce them to new worlds of wonders.  I can’t imagine how any young girl, devoted to the commercialized versions of pepto pink princesses and fairies, could not be awestruck by the spectacle of a real ballet. The characters float across the stage, their costumes more breathtaking than any cartoon version could conjure; the Sugarplum Fairy twirls as the real-life version of  the little plastic jewelry box figure we dreamed of becoming as girls, ourselves.  The dancers exemplify not only grace and beauty, but the rewards that years of determination and of diligent practice can reap. They show us real dreams come true. And that boys — ahem, men — can be dancers, too.

The ballet exposes our kids to the disappearing world of art, music, and dance. The Nutcracker is the perfect  production to aquatint newbies of all ages to this often daunting new realm: a ballet on training wheels, enjoyable for everyone. Give it a try. It will be worth it.

My boy insists he wants to see to the Nutcracker again next year. He just has one request: we have to take his father. I think that can be arranged.

I took my 8-year-old son to the ballet. And maybe you should too.

Easy Rum Ball Recipe — Great Gifting

Looking for a homemade holiday treat  for a cookie swap, office party, or neighborhood gifting?  Want something easy, delicious, and memorable?  How about a treat with a kick?

Rum Balls are tasty, look as if you spent hours slaving away in the kitchen and can make any holiday gathering tolerable.  Plus they are simple enough to make even if you sneak a few nips from the rum bottle. Perfect.

*Note: these are not for children (unless you want them to sleep*). Alcohol IS a main ingredient. 

Rum Balls

Time: roughly 30 minutes
Yield: about 3 dozen

2 cups crushed vanilla wafers**
1 cup crushed coconut or pecans (works best to chop in a food processor)
1 cup confectioners sugar
2 tbsp. coco powder (you can add up to 1/2 tsp. more if you want them more chocolaty)
2 tbsp. white corn syrup (or honey)
1/3 cup rum (I like Captain Morgan)
extra coco, sugar, or chopped coconut for coating/dusting

  • Mix all ingredients.
  • Add desired dusting materials to a shallow dish.
  • Scoop out about a tablespoon of mixture (use a cookie scoop for speed and consistent size) and roll into balls. (This is easier if you keep your hands damp.)
  • Roll each ball in the dusting sugar or coconut to coat evenly.
  • Set each ball onto a wax paper covered cookie sheet and chill in refrigerator.

The longer they sit, the tastier they will be.

Place each ball in a mini cupcake wrapper for an impressive display.

*Just kidding. I would never advocate giving kids rum. Though, my MIL still swears bourbon is the best thing for a teething baby…

**If you want to be creative, you can play around with flavors. For a more chocolatey vibe, use 1 cup crushed chocolate wafers.  For a little bit of spice, use 1 cup of ginger snaps and dust with the crushed cookies as well. (I tried this and they were the bomb.)

Different, Disturbing, & Slightly Disgusting Toys

While perusing the sale ads last Sunday, I was amazed how many odd toys there were out there.  Some were unique, while others could be considered slightly disturbing or downright nasty.  Besides the first toy listed, how many will Santa be setting under your tree?

This one is cool. It is the only thing in this post I’d  buy…but for myself. The FAO Schwarz  Muppet Whatnot Kit lets you create your own Muppet Whatnot. {Whatnots are those zany-looking extras you see in every Muppet production.} I want my own Muppet.


FAO Schwarz Orange or Blue Muppet Whatnot Kits include a Muppet Whatnot body, 3 wigs, 3 pair of eyes, 3 noses, glasses and a pupeteer rod.  $59.99 @toysrus.com

Aren’t we lucky: Doggie Doo, Europe’s top new action game, has crossed the pond just in time for the holidays. Kids feed and walk the little plastic pup. When they squeeze his leash he makes a gassy sound that gets louder and louder until…plop! You have your own, fresh doggie doo. The first to clean up after the dog three times wins. I wonder if it is scented?  WTF?
Only $17 @toysrus.com

Kids + ninja swords = Bad Idea.  
Fruit Ninja Game is a takeoff of the digital application. The object of the Fruit Ninja Game is to slash and splatter fruit like a true ninja warrior. What happens when they get bored with the plastic and decide to raid the fridge and knife drawer? Danger Danger. $20 @toysrus.com





 
I’m not really sure what to say about these things. Ugly Dolls are plush toys and they are…well, ugly. They look pretty much like how one of my sewing projects would turn out. So I think I will save the $20 each and just glue some felt together. Or perhaps marketers are hoping parents will reminisce about the days of Ren and Stimpy and want to share them with their kids (recommended ages 3-5).


Animal Planet Remote Control Charlie the Capuchin Monkey  can sit on your shoulder and “unleash cheeky phrases on your friends and family!” I am dying to know what these “cheeky” phrases are — swearing? Dirty jokes? Do they simulate throwing poo like the monkeys at the zoo? This interactive toy features many mannerisms, sound effects, and movements which really bring him to life. All I can think of is Betsey, the cute, cuddly, and diseased monkey from the movie Outbreak. My son would freaking love this (for a day).  $25 @toysrus.com



Animal Planet Radio Controlled Rattle Snake looks and moves like the real thing. Realistic skin and serpentine movement mean this can easily be mistaken for a live snake. As it slithers in an S pattern, its tongue flicks in and out and eyes light up. This could make Christmas day with the family highly entertaining as screams of terror echo through the house. You might even get a trip to the ER for a heart attack. Great way to clear out the house and signal everyone that it’s time to go home. $29 @toysrus.com

 

 

“The Wow!”  My Keepon  is the dancing robot that moves to any music. A tiny microphone in My Keepon’s nose (ewww) allows him to hear the music you play or even the rhythms you make yourself. My Keepon listens for the tempo of the music and matches the beat with an uncanny sense of timing.
Look — can’t you see it’s dancing — wait, it moved left, then right, up, down — seriously, how much can two Nerf balls dance?
$49 @toysrus.com

 

Masquerades are all about mystery, and so are the Bratz Masquerade DollsRemember all the slutty Halloween costumes so many of us were complaining about? Now we can give our daughters a leg up on deciding if she wants to be a sexy angel or come-hither fairy next year by playing with these dolls.  Maybe it’s all a plot — if parents see these dolls around the house for a few years we will be desensitized to the trashy tween costumes. And each doll comes with makeup and a child-sized matching “sassy” mask so our little girls can practice for their nights out full of mystery and disguise. At least they’re not wearing fishnets.

21.99 @toysrus.com



From jumping over creeks in the backwoods, all the way to the skatepark, the General Lee BMX Bike will take your rider everywhere he needs to go. Do kids now even know what this is? Are the Dukes of Hazard making yet another retro comeback?  At least there isn’t a big ‘ole Confederate flag  license plate dangling from the handlebars. {sigh} $179 @ walmart.com

**Nothing here is a product review or endorsement.

Potato, Prosciutto & Fontina Cakes — Flippant Foodie Friday

The holiday meal: family, friends, good times and high drama all often playing out around the dressed up dining room table. Don’t you ever just wish you could set out a meal to wow them all — you could Cook Like a Rock Star, and leave them speechless, stuffed, and fully sated?

Over at the Bookshelf Bombshells I reviewed Food Network star Anne Burrells’s new book Cook Like a Rock Star. Head on over to check out the full review.

Although there were many recipes from the cookbook I was nearly dying to attempt, truffles and lobster were simply not in my budget for the week. But prosciutto I always have on hand. I paired this savory side with some juicy steaks, but it would be a perfect accompaniment for any holiday roast or turkey.  This dish would certainly impress your In-Laws and put your fussy Aunt Eunice’s plain old mashed potatoes to shame. Wouldn’t that be fun?

Potato, Prosciutto & Fontina Cakes
Serves: 4
Time: About 2 hours

Mise en Place
2 pounds Yukon gold potatoes, peeled and cut into quarters
Kosher salt
¼ cup heavy cream
¾ cup freshly grated Fontina cheese
½ cup prosciutto, cut into 1/4-inch dice
2 large eggs
Extra virgin olive oil

ANNE ALERT!
These lovely cakes need to chill for at least an hour before cooking so if you want to really streamline the operation, make the cakes ahead (even the day before) and stick them in the fridge until you are ready to eat.

  • Put the potatoes in a large saucepan and cover with water, season the water generously with salt.
  • Bring the water to a boil (BTB) and reduce to a simmer (RTS). Cook the potatoes for 25 to 30 minutes, or until fork-tender. Drain the potatoes well.
  • In a small saucepan, heat the cream.
  • While the potatoes are still hot, mash with a potato masher, leaving them a little lumpy: stir in the hot cream.
  • Mix in the Fontina, prosciutto, and eggs and stir well to combine. Taste and add salt if you need — you probably will.
  • Form the potato mixture into cakes about 2 ½ inches wide and ¾ to 1 inch thick. Put them on a baking sheet and refrigerate for at least 1 hour.

  • Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.
  • Coat a large nonstick saute pan with olive oil and bring to high heat. Working in batches, brown the cakes on both sides, about 2 minutes per side. Place the browned cakes on a baking sheet and transfer them to the oven for 10 to 12 minutes, or until heated through.

–Recipe From Cook Like a Rock Star by Anne Burrell                                                           —Photos by Vinobaby

These were trickier than the recipe made them out to be; the stickiness of the freshly mashed potatoes made them hard to work with, even with the recommended refrigeration. The ingredients made a whopping 16 cakes, and could easily have been ample side dish for eight, instead of the suggested four. But they were quite tasty, and these luscious potato cakes sopped up steak juice perfectly.


Photobucket“/>